Eh. I don't have a partner. I don't seek casual sex and I haven't had it for a while (about a year), and I don't miss sex at all, but I'm not actively celibate. In the same way that someone who just happens not to drink might not call themselves teetotal, I happen not to have sex but I don't call myself celibate. Plus I certainly don't plan to never have sex ever again! :P
The good sex I've had was with someone I loved. It's a fun, adventurous way to express your care for each other. Love sex is great because it really connects two people.
The bad sex I've had was hookup sex. Most of the driving force behind that was to express my masculinity, earn praise from my friends and try things I'd seen in porn. That sex was awful because it lacked the fundamentals - care for the other person, attentiveness to their feelings and experience, and any kind of authenticity (awkward porn moves chained together isn't fun sex). Hookup sex is a million miles away from love sex, and I don't plan to have hookup sex again. It was a different time when I understood myself less.
Are you Celibate?
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Eh. I don't have a partner. I don't seek casual sex and I haven't had it for a while (about a year), and I don't miss sex at all, but I'm not actively celibate. In the same way that someone who just happens not to drink might not call themselves teetotal, I happen not to have sex but I don't call myself celibate. Plus I certainly don't plan to never have sex ever again! :P
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slings_and_arrows
8 years ago
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When you have sex, what's the driving force behind it then?
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dom180
8 years ago
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The good sex I've had was with someone I loved. It's a fun, adventurous way to express your care for each other. Love sex is great because it really connects two people.
The bad sex I've had was hookup sex. Most of the driving force behind that was to express my masculinity, earn praise from my friends and try things I'd seen in porn. That sex was awful because it lacked the fundamentals - care for the other person, attentiveness to their feelings and experience, and any kind of authenticity (awkward porn moves chained together isn't fun sex). Hookup sex is a million miles away from love sex, and I don't plan to have hookup sex again. It was a different time when I understood myself less.