Are we too horrible?

We have a girl here at uni. I won't divulge her real name, but my friend came up with a nickname for her so we can talk about her infront of her without her knowing. That name is xxxxxxx.

We are on an exchange year abroad. There are a good group of us here from the same home country, so we mainly stick together for drinking & socialising etc. The exception is xxxxxxx. She has no concept of how to socialise properly, and this has clearly been a stumbling block throughout her life. I recall talking to her at the exchange meeting before the year started, and she stuttered about how she had decided to live in university halls again for the second year, "for the social aspect". No one does this in England for any reason other than they have no friends to get a house with in second year. Alarm bells rang immediately. It turned out a friend I made over here knew one of her flatmates in second year, who stated "oh...hahaha...we had some FUN with *xxxxxxx* in second year *rolls eyes*". I also remember looking at her fb photos of her 21st birthday. There was one other person there. So she came abroad clearly for a fresh, third-time-lucky start. It failed.

She appears to have no friends at all, and attempts to socialise with our group despite what any normal person would recognise as distain being directed at her. Maybe she's just so desperate she doesn't care. She often wanders out into the courtyard where I am socialising and tries to join in. Fair play for trying, but she can't articulate herself! She mumbles, stutters, and talks very fast when she gets a sentance going at people who clearly aren't interested. Her sentances never make any sense anyway. Sometimes she'll be telling a story for a minute or so, then just before what appears to be the punchline she trails off and says something along the lines of 'oh...I forgot what I was going to say.' or 'Nevermind'. NO YOU DIDN'T! Its infuriating and a waste of people's time.

I remember when my friend got smashed & xxxxxxx had come and sat in the periphery of our drinking game, stuttering and mumbling at anyone who got caught in the tractor beam of her lazy eyes. He turned to her and shouted 'good night XXXXXXX, fuck off!'. A room of 20 or so people burst into laughter directed at her, and even the good samaritans who at first tried to say how wrong it was to do that gave up and succumbed to laughter.

Firstly, It doesn't help that she's one of the ugliest things I've ever seen, she looks like someone who may have once been normal enough looking but died a month ago and has been decomposing since. Very strange. Spots and pus everywhere also at age 22. Basically I know how horrible this all sounds. But she is one of the weirdest, most unlikable and annoying people I have ever met! Would you act in the same way towards her? What should be my course of action? Bear in mind befriending her would be social suicide with all - they say kids are cruel, but adults just hide it better.

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 34 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • chaskins

    You fucking Jackass. People like you are scum.

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  • mini

    She's a human being jerk, if u put urself in her place I bet u won't like it!

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  • howaminotmyself

    Wow, for someone you don't like, you sure are giving her a lot of attention.

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  • aquadhift

    You represent all that I hate in humanity. I wish you pain and agony.

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  • q25t

    Normal reaction but I think it could be handled better.

    I know you mentioned she has problems speaking so have you tried talking to her via any other methods? Literally any social networking site would be good. She would probably be better at that as if she really is trying to tell stories and that, she may just have a speech impediment, which I wouldn't think would carry over to the computer.

    I also agree with prrp here. Setting her up with another person may be a good idea.

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  • zackattack

    You could at least try and help her. She clearly has issues. Why must you make her life even more miserable? I've been in your situation and yeah its hard, but I can say my group was nicer.

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  • Captain_Kegstand

    I thought that it was Americans that were supposed to be the assholes? This has to be a troll, there can't really be people this cruel in the world! Acting like that would get you a solid ass kickin where I live.

    da fuk!

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  • blondbond69

    You're a piece of shit.

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  • ~L~

    I would not make fun of this individual as it is not in my nature, however, I would probably just ignore her and be polite, should she ever talk to me I would be civil. I do not think I would befriend her. She may have some mental issues.

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  • prrp

    it's not nice, but its normal, i know some similar people at my uni, as for the drunk incident that's brutal, but you can't be held responsible for what you say while pissed, and i hope she knows that. theres not too much you can do, unless you can find an equally outcast person and try and set them up!

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    • deepthought33

      That might be a good idea--setting her up with someone else who could also really use a friend. I personally feel sorry for her. I can only imagine what goes through her own head. I'm sure she is very aware of what she sees when she looks in the mirror every morning. I'm sure her thoughts are consumed with how awkward she knows she is and that it would be a personal miracle for her if she got one completely coherent story out of her mouth. Her mantra may very well be "why can't I just be normal for even one second!?".
      Anyway, big kudos go her way for not giving up. She is a fighter in her own weird way and that takes courage.

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  • GeorgeinMunich

    Yeah, it's normal. It's also miserably sad. Can ANYTHING be done? Is there ANY possibility of reaching out without feeling stigmatized? Is she really THAT horrible?

    Is she really worthy of overt cruelty?

    IS ANYONE?

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  • mtnw

    if you are too nice, she will probably stick to you, and that could be a problem. maybe she has asbergers (sp?) or something like that, so that could explain her social problems.

    keep an "arms length" relationship with her and i think you'll be ok.

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  • sydney15

    Normal dude

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