It's good that you're still in therapy and are able to recognize these issues.
Making friends is hard. I've only ever had a very small circle my entire life and most of my friends have come and gone (and unfortunately, this is very common; very few friends are lifelong). I know the thought of losing your friend hurts, especially if you also have romantic feelings for him, but there are 7 billion people in the world and many opportunities to meet people and make new friends. The good news is that you've passed high school, which is probably the hardest time in my opinion to make lasting friends. The 20's are not an easy age, either, but people seem nicer than in high school.
Do you have any hobbies? You could try joining a club or group and meet people with similar interests that way.
I wish it could be as easy as turning off a switch as well. Unfortunately, it's not, but you will get through this!
Are they engaged?
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It's good that you're still in therapy and are able to recognize these issues.
Making friends is hard. I've only ever had a very small circle my entire life and most of my friends have come and gone (and unfortunately, this is very common; very few friends are lifelong). I know the thought of losing your friend hurts, especially if you also have romantic feelings for him, but there are 7 billion people in the world and many opportunities to meet people and make new friends. The good news is that you've passed high school, which is probably the hardest time in my opinion to make lasting friends. The 20's are not an easy age, either, but people seem nicer than in high school.
Do you have any hobbies? You could try joining a club or group and meet people with similar interests that way.
I wish it could be as easy as turning off a switch as well. Unfortunately, it's not, but you will get through this!