All of the above reasons are true. I feel very threatened because he is the first and only friend i have ever had and i don't want to be replaced. He barely had time for me during the summer or when we were not on school. I am attracted to him and i think this could be because he's my first friend. I have had dreams in which he accidentally posts a dick pic on snapchat and i mastrubate to it and wake up right before orgasm. I don't think i can replace him because it hasn't happened yet. It took me 17 years to get my first friend. I have been seeing a new therapist for over a year and he is the main focus of every session. I have OCD and nonverbal learning disorder. If i was giving off gay signals i would not know it. I can't read any signals that my friend gave me either. I perfer the direct approach but i would have reacted terribly to him leaving me no matter how he did it. I wish i could turn off a switch and forget about all this.
It's good that you're still in therapy and are able to recognize these issues.
Making friends is hard. I've only ever had a very small circle my entire life and most of my friends have come and gone (and unfortunately, this is very common; very few friends are lifelong). I know the thought of losing your friend hurts, especially if you also have romantic feelings for him, but there are 7 billion people in the world and many opportunities to meet people and make new friends. The good news is that you've passed high school, which is probably the hardest time in my opinion to make lasting friends. The 20's are not an easy age, either, but people seem nicer than in high school.
Do you have any hobbies? You could try joining a club or group and meet people with similar interests that way.
I wish it could be as easy as turning off a switch as well. Unfortunately, it's not, but you will get through this!
Are they engaged?
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All of the above reasons are true. I feel very threatened because he is the first and only friend i have ever had and i don't want to be replaced. He barely had time for me during the summer or when we were not on school. I am attracted to him and i think this could be because he's my first friend. I have had dreams in which he accidentally posts a dick pic on snapchat and i mastrubate to it and wake up right before orgasm. I don't think i can replace him because it hasn't happened yet. It took me 17 years to get my first friend. I have been seeing a new therapist for over a year and he is the main focus of every session. I have OCD and nonverbal learning disorder. If i was giving off gay signals i would not know it. I can't read any signals that my friend gave me either. I perfer the direct approach but i would have reacted terribly to him leaving me no matter how he did it. I wish i could turn off a switch and forget about all this.
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bbrown95
3 years ago
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It's good that you're still in therapy and are able to recognize these issues.
Making friends is hard. I've only ever had a very small circle my entire life and most of my friends have come and gone (and unfortunately, this is very common; very few friends are lifelong). I know the thought of losing your friend hurts, especially if you also have romantic feelings for him, but there are 7 billion people in the world and many opportunities to meet people and make new friends. The good news is that you've passed high school, which is probably the hardest time in my opinion to make lasting friends. The 20's are not an easy age, either, but people seem nicer than in high school.
Do you have any hobbies? You could try joining a club or group and meet people with similar interests that way.
I wish it could be as easy as turning off a switch as well. Unfortunately, it's not, but you will get through this!