I can't see any specific mention of the relationship having been platonic, but I agree that is implied.
Still, this guy clearly has an obsession-level interest in a former male friend, and in particular he's fixating on the guy having sex with a woman. A man saying of another man, "I don't want him to use his penis on anyone!" shouts repressed homosexual feelings, and that adds another layer of fucked-up to this festering pile of weirdness.
For those who don't already know from previous posts, she is my former therapist's daughter. I told my therapist all my feelings towards this guy for about two years, nearly everything I mentioned, and then I find out that he has a girlfriend. I looked her up on facebook, only to find that her last name was the same as my therapist and she is friends with her on facebook. I nearly had a panic attack waiting to tell my therapist that her daughter's boyfriend (or future son in law) is the guy that i am obsessed with. My therapist went by her maiden name on her professional card, so I didn't make a connection until i saw it on facebook. I was clinically depressed for a month. We mutually decided to to get a new therapist. She would be at the wedding along with two of my facebook friends. If the announced that they are engaged, I can't help but wonder if my former therapist thought of me and woundered how I would react if i found out.
May I ask why your ex friend having a girlfriend or possibly getting married bothers you so much? I'm still a bit confused. Do you have romantic feelings for your ex friend? Did you feel threatened by the relationship and that it would get in the way of/replace your friendship, or that your friend would no longer have time for you?
Are you currently in therapy with a new therapist? I think it would be a really good option for you to help work through this fixation.
Like I said in another post, I really think you would be much happier and more at peace if you could work towards moving on from them. I know it is much easier said than done, but a good therapist should be able to help. Your thoughts about these people are doing nothing but hurting you.
I highly suggest blocking their social media so you won't be tempted to look at it (and resist the urge to unblock), and turn off any search engine alerts. Try to find a hobby or something you are very passionate about to focus on and look forward to, or focus on your job, spend time with family and friends, etc. Anything to get your mind off of this and that will allow you to realize that there is more to life than this guy and his girlfriend.
All of the above reasons are true. I feel very threatened because he is the first and only friend i have ever had and i don't want to be replaced. He barely had time for me during the summer or when we were not on school. I am attracted to him and i think this could be because he's my first friend. I have had dreams in which he accidentally posts a dick pic on snapchat and i mastrubate to it and wake up right before orgasm. I don't think i can replace him because it hasn't happened yet. It took me 17 years to get my first friend. I have been seeing a new therapist for over a year and he is the main focus of every session. I have OCD and nonverbal learning disorder. If i was giving off gay signals i would not know it. I can't read any signals that my friend gave me either. I perfer the direct approach but i would have reacted terribly to him leaving me no matter how he did it. I wish i could turn off a switch and forget about all this.
It's good that you're still in therapy and are able to recognize these issues.
Making friends is hard. I've only ever had a very small circle my entire life and most of my friends have come and gone (and unfortunately, this is very common; very few friends are lifelong). I know the thought of losing your friend hurts, especially if you also have romantic feelings for him, but there are 7 billion people in the world and many opportunities to meet people and make new friends. The good news is that you've passed high school, which is probably the hardest time in my opinion to make lasting friends. The 20's are not an easy age, either, but people seem nicer than in high school.
Do you have any hobbies? You could try joining a club or group and meet people with similar interests that way.
I wish it could be as easy as turning off a switch as well. Unfortunately, it's not, but you will get through this!
Are they engaged?
← View full post
She's your ex!!!
--
SmokeEverything
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
1
1
-
Anonymous Post Author
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Nah its even better, apparently its an ex-male-platonic friend
--
Boojum
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
1
1
I can't see any specific mention of the relationship having been platonic, but I agree that is implied.
Still, this guy clearly has an obsession-level interest in a former male friend, and in particular he's fixating on the guy having sex with a woman. A man saying of another man, "I don't want him to use his penis on anyone!" shouts repressed homosexual feelings, and that adds another layer of fucked-up to this festering pile of weirdness.
--
charli.m
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
-
SmokeEverything
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I sincerely doubt the "friend" was even aware of OPs existence. Stalkers are like that...creating relationships in their heads.
It's gonna be a hell of a wedding
--
CrHazardous
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I actually want an invite to see all this blow up
--
SmokeEverything
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
OP please invite is if you're goin to go do this
--
CrHazardous
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
See More Comments =>
We'd technically be invited to the crash though. Not the actual wedding :/
For those who don't already know from previous posts, she is my former therapist's daughter. I told my therapist all my feelings towards this guy for about two years, nearly everything I mentioned, and then I find out that he has a girlfriend. I looked her up on facebook, only to find that her last name was the same as my therapist and she is friends with her on facebook. I nearly had a panic attack waiting to tell my therapist that her daughter's boyfriend (or future son in law) is the guy that i am obsessed with. My therapist went by her maiden name on her professional card, so I didn't make a connection until i saw it on facebook. I was clinically depressed for a month. We mutually decided to to get a new therapist. She would be at the wedding along with two of my facebook friends. If the announced that they are engaged, I can't help but wonder if my former therapist thought of me and woundered how I would react if i found out.
--
bbrown95
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
May I ask why your ex friend having a girlfriend or possibly getting married bothers you so much? I'm still a bit confused. Do you have romantic feelings for your ex friend? Did you feel threatened by the relationship and that it would get in the way of/replace your friendship, or that your friend would no longer have time for you?
Are you currently in therapy with a new therapist? I think it would be a really good option for you to help work through this fixation.
Like I said in another post, I really think you would be much happier and more at peace if you could work towards moving on from them. I know it is much easier said than done, but a good therapist should be able to help. Your thoughts about these people are doing nothing but hurting you.
I highly suggest blocking their social media so you won't be tempted to look at it (and resist the urge to unblock), and turn off any search engine alerts. Try to find a hobby or something you are very passionate about to focus on and look forward to, or focus on your job, spend time with family and friends, etc. Anything to get your mind off of this and that will allow you to realize that there is more to life than this guy and his girlfriend.
I wish you the best of luck.
--
Anonymous Post Author
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
All of the above reasons are true. I feel very threatened because he is the first and only friend i have ever had and i don't want to be replaced. He barely had time for me during the summer or when we were not on school. I am attracted to him and i think this could be because he's my first friend. I have had dreams in which he accidentally posts a dick pic on snapchat and i mastrubate to it and wake up right before orgasm. I don't think i can replace him because it hasn't happened yet. It took me 17 years to get my first friend. I have been seeing a new therapist for over a year and he is the main focus of every session. I have OCD and nonverbal learning disorder. If i was giving off gay signals i would not know it. I can't read any signals that my friend gave me either. I perfer the direct approach but i would have reacted terribly to him leaving me no matter how he did it. I wish i could turn off a switch and forget about all this.
--
bbrown95
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
It's good that you're still in therapy and are able to recognize these issues.
Making friends is hard. I've only ever had a very small circle my entire life and most of my friends have come and gone (and unfortunately, this is very common; very few friends are lifelong). I know the thought of losing your friend hurts, especially if you also have romantic feelings for him, but there are 7 billion people in the world and many opportunities to meet people and make new friends. The good news is that you've passed high school, which is probably the hardest time in my opinion to make lasting friends. The 20's are not an easy age, either, but people seem nicer than in high school.
Do you have any hobbies? You could try joining a club or group and meet people with similar interests that way.
I wish it could be as easy as turning off a switch as well. Unfortunately, it's not, but you will get through this!