Are these reactions to possible dying normal?

I've had a very strong feeling for about 6 months that I won't live much longer, which is possible with my heart condition.

I'm puzzled and hurt by the reactions I've received when I've tried to talk to people about it: my sister immediately told me I was talking myself into it and changed the subject; my nieces who've been like daughters to me seemed to ignore what I said and subsequently accused me of doing something I hadn't done and very nastily cut off all contact (and then one of them died unexpectedly, but that's another sad story) and finally a long term friend didn't respond to my email and has ignored subsequent emails about other things.

I'd been planning to tell my daughter but I'm wondering if it's worthwhile telling anyone after these responses.

Feedback please! e
I have chest pain right now, as I often do, so this could by the final heart attack and I'll never see any responses: weird, eh?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 13 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • if someone told me that I wouldn’t ignore it but I also may not know how to react or what words to say. I’m sure they care but don’t know how to take it. And probably don’t want to think of it actually happening. It’s a harsh reality.

    We all have our ways of dealing with stuff like this and when my grandmother was passing I didn’t want to know the details to hear how bad she was because it would crush me. She was like my closest family member becides my mom and I’d do anything for that lady but knowing the reality she wasn’t doing well was to much for me. I already knew she was passing for months but not getting entirely involved saves me from being a complete emotional mess.

    I noticed after having to big of a heart sometimes it seems I care to much to the point I come off that I don’t and maybe they aren’t this way but I’m sure they care a lot and this is a big thing that you may not get a crazy reaction out of while deep down they probably have a million words going on and just don’t know what to do when there’s not much to do.

    Try to stay positive and enjoy life when you can without the ending being a constant thought ik when I overthink shit it makes everything much worse than it is. I try not to think about how life actually is because it tends to freak me out knowing anyone can go anytime but I don’t want to go full of anxiety. Enjoy what you got while you got it.

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    • I know this is going to sound critical, but in my opinion avoiding someone you know is dying ( as with your grandmother ) because of your own potential feelings is really selfish. It seems you loved her and you say would've done anything for her, apparently with the exception of not getting involved.

      Also my opinion, the caring too much to the extent of seeming as if you don't is because you havent learned how to deal with the consequences of caring about someone. Genuine caring puts the other person first, not permanently but a least while they need support.

      This is similar to the common practice of avoiding people who are grieving if you're more concerned about yourself than about them.

      I do appreciate finding the right words can be difficult, but what's wrong with "I really care about you but I don't know what to say"?

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      • I avoided hearing all the news like her needing a bone marrow because ik she couldn’t handle it. I wish I didn’t hear that because it got me super emotional for no reason because nothing even went further with it I’m not meaning avoiding the fact of the whole passing I visited her every chance I got. She went off all meds and stopped doing everything and went in peace but it was the doctors words before that got me to far. So I didn’t ignore her passing for myself but was glad my mom didn’t keep me fully updated on ever words the doctors would say. I don’t think that makes me selfish. I obviously care I was the one getting involved going to doctor visits and driving her places.

        One thing she told me was to not worry and not cry but to rather celebrate life rather than her passing. You have no idea my situation at all
        Ik how to fucking care about someone. I’m just trying to help here not come off as selfish if you wanna ask something but judge someone by what they say when trying to help find the reason then idk dude maybe your family doesn’t care.

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  • How did you tell them that you weren't going to live much longer?

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    • Pretty much as I've stated it here, that I have this strong feeling I'm not going to live much longer.

      I should add that I did tell another friend last night and she didn't ignore it or blank me, didn't say much but that's ok, I don't know how I'd respond to someone telling me that unless they had an obvious terminal illness.

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  • Fuck I don’t know. Karma?

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    • What does that have to do with it?

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    • Isn't karma supposed to be bad if ya did something wrong?

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      • Like karma from a previous life. Idk I don’t believe in the shit but its a nice thought of what a reincarnated Mao would be living his life in.

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        • Yeah, it's a nice thought to make sense of the world but it still ain't true. Useful to keep oppressed people in their place and not demand freedom because if karma is true then somehow they deserve their miserable lives.

          I've said to a few karma believers that my karma must be to question karma and theirs to respond to my questions and do they get shitty with me!

          Extreme karma followers believe that if a person is sexually abused as a child it's because they chose before birth to be born into that situation to learn a particular lesson: sort of lets perpetrators off the hook, doesn't it, if they're only fulfilling someone's karma? I even once knew a Jewish believer in karma (as well as other newage (rhymes with sewage) beliefs) who said it was the karma of her relatives and other Jews to die in the holocaust ...... yeah, right, good old Nazi's doing them a favor I suppose.

          Anyway, interesting digression but nothing to do with my original question.

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          • Interesting belief that karma could have an extreme...I seems that all beliefs have their loopholes. But thank you for interesting bit on sociology and karma.

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            • I would've though it was obvious I meant some believers in karma have extreme views. Karma is just another fairy tale to try and convince people something or someone is in charge of the world and everything will work out fairly in the end.

              Karma doesn't just have loopholes, it IS a loophole and I'm finding it hard not to make bad puns about loopholes and loopy people.

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    • I don't believe in karma

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