I feel so sorry for your dad. In all honesty I think that you should hold an intervention and tell her about her spending habits. Like Shackles said she needs to learn impulse control. I bet that she has done some good parenting but that doesn't really excuse her behavior. Would you give an alcoholic a drink just because he gave you a dollar for bus money? It's great that your mom raised you but she has to take care of herself as well. You're not an asshole for not giving her money, you're a great person for trying to help her curb her addiction to shopping. Seriously $1000 dollars for entertainment money and that isn't enough? Aside from the intervention I think that your family should stop giving her money and force her to get a job because in all honesty she sounds like a child, no offense.
The problem is that she can't work because her health is bad, she is a chain smoker and does not care for her health. She sleeps like a cat. My father has tried to intervene but she takes these credit cards out without his knowledge and hides them from him. Whenever he finds out (usually by debt companies calling is) he tries to have her cancel them but she just takes out another.
Tell your dad to call the debt company and tell them to stop taking out new credits. Explain to them the situation that your family is in and make sure that that they do not let your mom take out another.
How bad is her health that she can still leave the house and shop? I think that she needs exercise because then she wouldn't sleep all day. Furthermore, I think that your dad should try to break her chain smoking habit. I think a divorce would be nice as cruel as it sounds. But I know she's your mom but she really does need help.
I think you know that her spending habit is bad and I can understand that she's your mom, but you have to curb her appetite for material possessions. Make her get a job, tell your dad to see if he can hook her up with one.
He actually owns a business and even before her health went downhill he gave her a job. She does not want to work and does not like being bossed around =\ also my brother is intellectually normal but she has caused him to be severely overweight and he is afraid to be in the home alone and can't cook or care for himself at 15. The psychologist directly blames her. All four of them. I wish she would get a job but she hates working and is always sick and wont even get out of bed. Sometimes not even to shop. Most of her shopping is done online.
Have you told your dad to get a divorce? Or to at least make her move out. Like I said, she's a child and eventually children grow up and move out, somehow she managed to remain stagnant and skip the other two steps. I'm also very sorry for your brother being overweight. How do you deal with her? Or at least how has she been as a mother to you?
Actually, I am moved out. My Dad wont consider divorce until my brother is moved out too
Honestly, he'd have to pay out the ass in alimony because by the standards of the government she qualifies for disability. We are encouraged to show obvious gratitude for what little she does do and try to act sympathetic to her complaints but I try to avoid her because all she really does is complain and she is a dark cloud in our house. When she leaves, everyone is happy and joyful but when she is around its... depressing. She always bought me what I wanted as a kid and had me on lots of medication for adhd when I was younger. I'm normal now, I stopped taking it at soon as I turned 18 but she was always just drinking, sleeping or whatever. I just kind of lived my own life and dealt with all of the therapy and drugs pushed on me. She didn't discipline me or anything and yelled at my dad when he tried sometimes. I always had to feel sorry for her though. Over time I grew less and less sorry.
Well when your brother moves out try to see if you can get your dad to get her away without paying alimony. You're old enough to take care of yourselves, I see no reason why she can't. Honestly, I'm sorry that you have to deal with her, or at least that your family has to deal with her.
Are my Mom's spending habits normal and should I give her my money?
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I feel so sorry for your dad. In all honesty I think that you should hold an intervention and tell her about her spending habits. Like Shackles said she needs to learn impulse control. I bet that she has done some good parenting but that doesn't really excuse her behavior. Would you give an alcoholic a drink just because he gave you a dollar for bus money? It's great that your mom raised you but she has to take care of herself as well. You're not an asshole for not giving her money, you're a great person for trying to help her curb her addiction to shopping. Seriously $1000 dollars for entertainment money and that isn't enough? Aside from the intervention I think that your family should stop giving her money and force her to get a job because in all honesty she sounds like a child, no offense.
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The problem is that she can't work because her health is bad, she is a chain smoker and does not care for her health. She sleeps like a cat. My father has tried to intervene but she takes these credit cards out without his knowledge and hides them from him. Whenever he finds out (usually by debt companies calling is) he tries to have her cancel them but she just takes out another.
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Tell your dad to call the debt company and tell them to stop taking out new credits. Explain to them the situation that your family is in and make sure that that they do not let your mom take out another.
How bad is her health that she can still leave the house and shop? I think that she needs exercise because then she wouldn't sleep all day. Furthermore, I think that your dad should try to break her chain smoking habit. I think a divorce would be nice as cruel as it sounds. But I know she's your mom but she really does need help.
I think you know that her spending habit is bad and I can understand that she's your mom, but you have to curb her appetite for material possessions. Make her get a job, tell your dad to see if he can hook her up with one.
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He actually owns a business and even before her health went downhill he gave her a job. She does not want to work and does not like being bossed around =\ also my brother is intellectually normal but she has caused him to be severely overweight and he is afraid to be in the home alone and can't cook or care for himself at 15. The psychologist directly blames her. All four of them. I wish she would get a job but she hates working and is always sick and wont even get out of bed. Sometimes not even to shop. Most of her shopping is done online.
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Have you told your dad to get a divorce? Or to at least make her move out. Like I said, she's a child and eventually children grow up and move out, somehow she managed to remain stagnant and skip the other two steps. I'm also very sorry for your brother being overweight. How do you deal with her? Or at least how has she been as a mother to you?
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Actually, I am moved out. My Dad wont consider divorce until my brother is moved out too
Honestly, he'd have to pay out the ass in alimony because by the standards of the government she qualifies for disability. We are encouraged to show obvious gratitude for what little she does do and try to act sympathetic to her complaints but I try to avoid her because all she really does is complain and she is a dark cloud in our house. When she leaves, everyone is happy and joyful but when she is around its... depressing. She always bought me what I wanted as a kid and had me on lots of medication for adhd when I was younger. I'm normal now, I stopped taking it at soon as I turned 18 but she was always just drinking, sleeping or whatever. I just kind of lived my own life and dealt with all of the therapy and drugs pushed on me. She didn't discipline me or anything and yelled at my dad when he tried sometimes. I always had to feel sorry for her though. Over time I grew less and less sorry.
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Well when your brother moves out try to see if you can get your dad to get her away without paying alimony. You're old enough to take care of yourselves, I see no reason why she can't. Honestly, I'm sorry that you have to deal with her, or at least that your family has to deal with her.