Well, first off, women are probably just as likely to cheat as a man.
I am male but I do believe that it is possible for a man to be in a one-on-one committed relationship. However, from what I've seen, women completely forget the nice men who exist and date the popular guy who is mean to everyone. The intentions for overlooking a nice guy varies, but to me it appears that women find kindness to be creepy. The only reason that I believe that this poll even exists is because of the poor decisions of some women and their amazing ability to overlook their male best friend as a potential spouse.
"The intentions for overlooking a nice guy varies, but to me it appears that women find kindness to be creepy. The only reason that I believe that this poll even exists is because of the poor decisions of some women and their amazing ability to overlook their male best friend as a potential spouse."
Exactly, and this is the truth, 100%. I had the best guy friend ever, was always awesome and very supportive of me. We had a great time and whenever I experienced a break-up he was always there with a box of tissues and a smile, a true gentleman. He was such a sweet guy, women thought he was creepy because of it, though. Even some insecure men couldn't stand him. Fuck, I had a huge problem with dating the "popular" guys... He seemed perfect, he had a job, a car, loved kids, etc. he was everything that women said that they wanted from a man but they never wanted him as more than a friend.
Then I realized that the pool of alpha-males that have everything that my best friend had is pretty shallow, so I married my best friend, fuck all that. It's working out pretty well so far.
From that anecdote, I can infer that you are an amazing girl. I'm glad that marriage is working out will with with you and your husband. Reading that story of yours actually gave me hope in humanity. It makes my heart happy knowing that women like you exist in this world.
From what I've observed it is usually because women don't date people that they've known awhile. I see women date men whom they have only known for 2 months because male best friends usually get "friend-zoned." I have no idea why women do not consider dating the person that they've known a long time as opposed to the person they've only known for a short time. Maybe it's the mystery factor.
Personally I could give a little light onto why some women don't date their friends. I had the opportunity to with one of my childhood friends and I was very very fond of him, but honestly was scared what would happen *after* the relationship ended - would I lose my friend of so many years? I didn't want to be the one to break his heart or he break mine. Plus, we're always more open about our flaws with the guy we're dating than with our friends - would he think less of me? So, instead of facing those what-ifs and gambling on the chances of a young-love fairy tale, I stuck with the safe option: keep the happy friendship I have now.
Yeah, I guess psychologically its easier to "justify" the guy I barely know with a "what the heck?" whereas its much harder for the friend because there is something to lose there. Though its contradictory, considering that if they're your friend, you already know that you get along. *sigh* no one ever said we always make the smart choice lol.
Ya growing up is pretty tough. However, I think that we sort of need to make mistakes to make sure that they don't happen again. I heard somewhere that women won't realize what a catch a guy is until their mid 20s because they've made enough mistakes to see who is worth going after, which seems nice.
Good points. Notice I separated the categories by age groups too. As a male is there a behavior diffrenc you notice, in both males n females, between the age groups?
*EDIT* I kno women cheat too, but my curiosity is about peoples' impressions n perspectives, by age n gender. Science? :p
My age group consists of late teenagers. People who are 17-19, not young adults but starting to look like them. I will explain the behavior contrast between the genders concerning dating.
In a high school setting, social hierarchies are established to separate the alpha-males from the betas. Women, from what I've seen, only pay attention to the males that appear to have respect from their peers. The male is usually someone who is tall, attractive, and can easily obtain the will of his peers, thus women notice this. They go after men like this, which in all honesty, who can blame them? However, where are the rest of the men in the spectrum? How about the other women?
Well, the betas are usually the weaker males. These "betas" are usually the guys you see off by themselves enjoying each others company, trying to avoid the crowd. Due to their reserved attitude towards the crowd, they condemn themselves to a state of invisibility. One of the factors that stem from women not finding nice guys is because guys like that usually don't go around yelling "I'm a nice guy!" This is all from observation. Of course, you'll have a couple of confident males out there who are popular, nice, and single, they are walking contradictions. Anyways, back to the topic, women don't really notice the betas because high school is really all about image and dating someone unpopular can usually damper that about someone.
Women are also just as likely to be betas due to the nature of their behaviors, especially in the social jungle know as high school. From observation I've seen women carry with themselves a mentality to belittle one another. The mentality appears to be "Oh she's pretty, may be I can hurt that self esteem of hers." Actually, this mentality is common among people, we try to hurt those who appear happy. However, I have met plenty of women who avoid other women and stick to their small group due to their want to detach themselves from the drama of other women. These women are the ones that are worth trying to meet. They are usually nice and can empathize with anybody. These women are the best to be around because they cause less drama and are aware of how stupid some people can be, especially in high school. Their dating life, however, is about as nonexistent as their male beta counterpart. Of course, you do have that occasional couple of betas.
What I said above is what I've seen when it concerns high school students and dating. I know that not everyone fits into a clique and I tried my best not to generalize, but this is what I've seen from observation. I have met women who are "popular" and can understand the plight of non-popular students. And I have also met men who would be counted as "alphas" that exhibit the trait of a beta.
In conclusion, when an individual enters a social setting that requires a precise of understanding of the logistics behind social cues, he will probably enjoy the popular life and women notice popular males more than any other type of men; however, there are people out their who care more about the personality of the individual as oppose to his appearance among his peers, those who care more about the soul are the people that are a rare catch.
Are men trustworthy?
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Well, first off, women are probably just as likely to cheat as a man.
I am male but I do believe that it is possible for a man to be in a one-on-one committed relationship. However, from what I've seen, women completely forget the nice men who exist and date the popular guy who is mean to everyone. The intentions for overlooking a nice guy varies, but to me it appears that women find kindness to be creepy. The only reason that I believe that this poll even exists is because of the poor decisions of some women and their amazing ability to overlook their male best friend as a potential spouse.
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"The intentions for overlooking a nice guy varies, but to me it appears that women find kindness to be creepy. The only reason that I believe that this poll even exists is because of the poor decisions of some women and their amazing ability to overlook their male best friend as a potential spouse."
Exactly, and this is the truth, 100%. I had the best guy friend ever, was always awesome and very supportive of me. We had a great time and whenever I experienced a break-up he was always there with a box of tissues and a smile, a true gentleman. He was such a sweet guy, women thought he was creepy because of it, though. Even some insecure men couldn't stand him. Fuck, I had a huge problem with dating the "popular" guys... He seemed perfect, he had a job, a car, loved kids, etc. he was everything that women said that they wanted from a man but they never wanted him as more than a friend.
Then I realized that the pool of alpha-males that have everything that my best friend had is pretty shallow, so I married my best friend, fuck all that. It's working out pretty well so far.
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From that anecdote, I can infer that you are an amazing girl. I'm glad that marriage is working out will with with you and your husband. Reading that story of yours actually gave me hope in humanity. It makes my heart happy knowing that women like you exist in this world.
So what could be a possible reason as to why best male friends are overlooked?
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From what I've observed it is usually because women don't date people that they've known awhile. I see women date men whom they have only known for 2 months because male best friends usually get "friend-zoned." I have no idea why women do not consider dating the person that they've known a long time as opposed to the person they've only known for a short time. Maybe it's the mystery factor.
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Personally I could give a little light onto why some women don't date their friends. I had the opportunity to with one of my childhood friends and I was very very fond of him, but honestly was scared what would happen *after* the relationship ended - would I lose my friend of so many years? I didn't want to be the one to break his heart or he break mine. Plus, we're always more open about our flaws with the guy we're dating than with our friends - would he think less of me? So, instead of facing those what-ifs and gambling on the chances of a young-love fairy tale, I stuck with the safe option: keep the happy friendship I have now.
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That's pretty interesting. I guess that there are a lot of what ifs. I can understand that. I'm glad that you still have your friendship.
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Yeah, I guess psychologically its easier to "justify" the guy I barely know with a "what the heck?" whereas its much harder for the friend because there is something to lose there. Though its contradictory, considering that if they're your friend, you already know that you get along. *sigh* no one ever said we always make the smart choice lol.
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By the way, this is extremely off topic, but based on your profile picture, I have to say that you have some amazing eyes.
Ya growing up is pretty tough. However, I think that we sort of need to make mistakes to make sure that they don't happen again. I heard somewhere that women won't realize what a catch a guy is until their mid 20s because they've made enough mistakes to see who is worth going after, which seems nice.
I'd agree on thaat mystery factor. Then again, it sometimes works both ways. Some guys friend-zone girls.
I personally don't mind if i get friend-zoned, it just means another person to hang out with.
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That's a good way to look at being friend-zoned.
Good points. Notice I separated the categories by age groups too. As a male is there a behavior diffrenc you notice, in both males n females, between the age groups?
*EDIT* I kno women cheat too, but my curiosity is about peoples' impressions n perspectives, by age n gender. Science? :p
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My age group consists of late teenagers. People who are 17-19, not young adults but starting to look like them. I will explain the behavior contrast between the genders concerning dating.
In a high school setting, social hierarchies are established to separate the alpha-males from the betas. Women, from what I've seen, only pay attention to the males that appear to have respect from their peers. The male is usually someone who is tall, attractive, and can easily obtain the will of his peers, thus women notice this. They go after men like this, which in all honesty, who can blame them? However, where are the rest of the men in the spectrum? How about the other women?
Well, the betas are usually the weaker males. These "betas" are usually the guys you see off by themselves enjoying each others company, trying to avoid the crowd. Due to their reserved attitude towards the crowd, they condemn themselves to a state of invisibility. One of the factors that stem from women not finding nice guys is because guys like that usually don't go around yelling "I'm a nice guy!" This is all from observation. Of course, you'll have a couple of confident males out there who are popular, nice, and single, they are walking contradictions. Anyways, back to the topic, women don't really notice the betas because high school is really all about image and dating someone unpopular can usually damper that about someone.
Women are also just as likely to be betas due to the nature of their behaviors, especially in the social jungle know as high school. From observation I've seen women carry with themselves a mentality to belittle one another. The mentality appears to be "Oh she's pretty, may be I can hurt that self esteem of hers." Actually, this mentality is common among people, we try to hurt those who appear happy. However, I have met plenty of women who avoid other women and stick to their small group due to their want to detach themselves from the drama of other women. These women are the ones that are worth trying to meet. They are usually nice and can empathize with anybody. These women are the best to be around because they cause less drama and are aware of how stupid some people can be, especially in high school. Their dating life, however, is about as nonexistent as their male beta counterpart. Of course, you do have that occasional couple of betas.
What I said above is what I've seen when it concerns high school students and dating. I know that not everyone fits into a clique and I tried my best not to generalize, but this is what I've seen from observation. I have met women who are "popular" and can understand the plight of non-popular students. And I have also met men who would be counted as "alphas" that exhibit the trait of a beta.
In conclusion, when an individual enters a social setting that requires a precise of understanding of the logistics behind social cues, he will probably enjoy the popular life and women notice popular males more than any other type of men; however, there are people out their who care more about the personality of the individual as oppose to his appearance among his peers, those who care more about the soul are the people that are a rare catch.