Are all gay people born gay?

I often will hear people talk about how gay people are "born gay" that they were always gay from birth as if nature herself (himself?) endowed this trait in them. Often said in a way that seemingly implies that all gays are this way.

While this certainly seems as if it would hold true for a lot of people in my personal yet non expertise opinion, my thoughts are that certainly SOME people do choose to be gay, right? and are shaped by nurture and/or societies influences rather than "nature".

IMO I don't see anything wrong with that, I was just wondering how you people see it.

Also be sure to include a comment on your thoughts to "why?" to whatever poll option you choose.



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  • Most people are born bi and don't realize until later. That's why it seems like they "turned gay"

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  • I highly doubt everyone is born gay, but there are factors that may increase the likelihood of it happening or not to specific person.

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  • Historical precedent seems to show that we're all a little bi. Your upbringing, and society as a whole, definitely does influence your orientation as it might influence anything else about you.

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  • This stuff confuses me some too.

    I’ve heard a lesbian say she “chose to be that way. And that it’s no different than any interest. You’re not born interested in fishing but as you get older it may be this thing you enjoy”.

    As a fairly closet bi myself I feel like I’ve always had this interest in girls since idk young age I guess. I feel like a sexual attraction you can’t necessarily control as well as you may with some hobbie you take a interest in. Art came and went for me but girls are still hot af since long as I can remember. I can try and shut it out but like girls are beautiful and always will be.

    But if say some girl is straight like 0 attraction to same sex wouldn’t that be hard to just force the thought wow I’m going to just start liking girls and eating pussy. When it’s something you don’t find attractive like don’t you gotta have something? Idk it honestly kinda confuses me but noone will be the same. Everyone has a story right?

    Then again I’ve heard lots of gays say they wish they weren’t and wish they had a straight attraction. And that makes me feel like it’s truly no choice in what your mind is wired to. So maybe some chose and some don’t?

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    • Ya you bring up a lot of great points. I suppose even for someone who has that inner attraction that they discover later on in life as they go through puberty and all that. It could be hard to say/ know even for that person themselves, whether or not that was always in them from birth or if the nurturing elements of growing up a certain way helped develop it.


      I guess what inspired the question is that i've never had an attraction to the same sex , i still feel that way. but awhile back I looked at gay porn in a curious kind of way and idk there was like this wrongness feeling to it that kind of turned me on for that moment. but like afterward I still didn't feel like i looked at the same sex any differently you know? like i didnt feel like i wanted that in real life or even wanted to masturbate to it again. so therefore like in a way i felt like without that "attractiveness to same sex" in my heart i was able to sort of tap into for a moment. Im in my mid 30's too so it's not like i was just young and trying to figure myself out.

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      • Yeah that’s true the whole puberty things another good point. That reminds me, my mom would never really let me do me and be myself until kindergarten and wish she never let me but she let me be super tom boy like I’d want my hair up a lot and wear boy clothes and do not so feminine things. That lasted so long. And I feel like even then I fit in with boys more and would look at both genders the same with attraction.

        I of course grew out of the tom boy look and to fast forward I still don’t have the most feminine interests. I don’t see many girls taking interest in cars and working on them or many who enjoy skateboarding but those are two I find enjoyable. I’m sure I got judgements as a kid about me turning into some lesbian. It was pretty bad. But my point is I feel like even as a kid I grew up being who I was which was super fucking gay.

        I’ve done it to weird random shit too but nothing I’m actually interested in more like I’m just bored and trying to find something. That seems understandable to me. I mean I’ve watched gay porn too but I don’t think I’d ever wanna put on a strap on and fuck a guys ass.

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  • How idiot this question is..

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    • "How idiotic this question is.."

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  • my thoughts a man fucks a womans arse and she likes it ok, a man shags another mans arse and suddenly he talks with a lisp and goes all iffeminet why ????

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  • Y'ALL ARE FUCKING STUPID! No one is actually born LGBT! It's not like a newborn baby decided that he or she is attracted to the same gender. It happens later in life, most likely during puberty. There's such a thing as a gay gene, but it's not apparent until infants get older.

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    • like in other words people cant describe where their attraction comes from alot of the time, they just simply are attracted to X. so basically the question is asking whether or not gayness in all from nature, all from nurture, or from both. it seems obvious to me that yes it must be both, but i do hear a lot of people say otherwise....hence the question.

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    • well that's what I mean by born gay, of course we are not talking about babies that "identify" as gay when they are a baby lmfao. like you said the "gay gene" like are some, all, or no people born with a complete natural disposition to being gay even if that is only discovered later in life. i happen to agree with your point but im just making it clear what I mean by "being born gay"

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  • I think some people are born more prone to being gay. I think there genetic stuff there at work but I also think people become gay later too. Ive seen male and female kids before who have no concept of sex yet and you can tell theyre gonna be gay.

    This one chic always dressed like a boy and hung out with all the guys when we were kids. Now shes gay.

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