It's not how I feel right now, but that doesn't mean I can't relate as I've felt much of that. I felt very misunderstood from a young age. The seven year old me thought people were misunderstanding me on purpose. I later came to think I was perhaps using the wrong words and that by using words with very precise meanings (and little scope for misunderstanding) I would resolve the problem.
It made the problem worse. People were still misunderstanding me and, worse, they didn't know what the words meant. I was a very naughty kid and I carried on being a naughty teenager. If I wasn't getting up to devilment (for my own amusement), I was playing pranks on people. Or I was making jokes or doing impressions or doing anything I could to make people laugh. When people were laughing, at least we were on the same page.
The way I see the world, the way I think people should be treated, the way I think things work was within me from a very young age but, whenever I said it, people thought it was a trick or that I was lying or that I was setting them up for something. Or, I suppose, that I was stupid. I made two comments on IIN this year. Almost everyone who read them tried to make me feel stupid and that they couldn't possibly be true. Yet both were absolutely true (although they don't feel as if they should be true). People went off their feelings to decide fact. That's one of the things I struggle to understand about people.
At 18, I crashed badly at university. I couldn't deal with people because I couldn't understand them and they most certainly couldn't understand me. Ashamed to admit it, but I think I thought people were stupid. After a year of isolation, I took to watching people. I reasoned that I was going to have to spend my life with them in some fashion, I may as well understand them and what drives them.
I still think differently than most but I learned to translate (to an extent). And because it's translation, I still fail at times and people still misunderstand me. Some of this may come across as arrogance but I'm just trying to be honest.
What upsets me at times is that nobody is speaking my language and the only way I can deal with them is speaking theirs. It makes what I say (and particularly what I write) look dull and mistranslated to me. Same as if I wrote this in French. I do speak some French but I'd make mistakes all over the place. That's how I feel with this.
I'm not sure this is exactly what you meant, but this is how it is with me. If it helps in the slightest, great!
Is this why it irritates you that my cleverness is mistaken for yours?
Aren't you describing precisely what I do?
Furthermore, haven't you reacted like that to me?
Despite appearing pretty much antithetical to each other, we're rather similar.
See I don't understand how people confuse you and dappled. Well, I do just because people are dumb and not very observant. So, that was pointless. I guess what I don't understand is, how people can stand to remain so dumb and unobservant.
We're not antithetical at all. We're more alike than either of us want to admit. I have no problem with that. I just want to get to a position where we're not picking at each other. You're a smart bloke and your comments make me laugh. But I hate not trusting you. I don't want to not trust you. And I don't want you to not trust me. I'm not trying to trick you into something. I'm being genuine. The offer is there. It's always been there. But I think we're both wary. I certainly am.
I'd go for openness and honesty, though. It makes things easier. It makes for an easier life. But it also makes it easier for people to get a rise out of you. I guess that's the problem. If you want fairness, I'll play fair. If you want the benefit of the doubt, you can have it.
Well, I pick at you because it amuses me and you can usually take it, and you pick at me because you're curious and I can usually take it. We're similar, but we've certainly chosen contradictory paths.
Though I've never quite understood why you don't trust me with nothing at stake, or why you feel the need to do so at all. I may not be honest, but I'm open. I can't not be. All statements are confessions.
Again, I'm not honest and never tried to be. You're honest. I'm open. All statements are confessions.
I'm going to quote myself from that Sincerity poll, which I now see was never posted because the moderators don't enjoy my posts as much as I do. Maybe it's length; I'll repost. Anyway:
"What does my name or age or sex have anything to do with the things I say? I don't hide those things behind my wit, everyone else hides their wit behind those things!"
Also, I just realized our usernames are complementary colors.
Dappled, are you high? Did you read this comment before responding to the Sincerity post? Also, that was the tamest bite
I've ever executed, so I'm not sure what part of that angered you.
It's still amusing though.
Anyone else feel they are in the same boat as me?
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It's not how I feel right now, but that doesn't mean I can't relate as I've felt much of that. I felt very misunderstood from a young age. The seven year old me thought people were misunderstanding me on purpose. I later came to think I was perhaps using the wrong words and that by using words with very precise meanings (and little scope for misunderstanding) I would resolve the problem.
It made the problem worse. People were still misunderstanding me and, worse, they didn't know what the words meant. I was a very naughty kid and I carried on being a naughty teenager. If I wasn't getting up to devilment (for my own amusement), I was playing pranks on people. Or I was making jokes or doing impressions or doing anything I could to make people laugh. When people were laughing, at least we were on the same page.
The way I see the world, the way I think people should be treated, the way I think things work was within me from a very young age but, whenever I said it, people thought it was a trick or that I was lying or that I was setting them up for something. Or, I suppose, that I was stupid. I made two comments on IIN this year. Almost everyone who read them tried to make me feel stupid and that they couldn't possibly be true. Yet both were absolutely true (although they don't feel as if they should be true). People went off their feelings to decide fact. That's one of the things I struggle to understand about people.
At 18, I crashed badly at university. I couldn't deal with people because I couldn't understand them and they most certainly couldn't understand me. Ashamed to admit it, but I think I thought people were stupid. After a year of isolation, I took to watching people. I reasoned that I was going to have to spend my life with them in some fashion, I may as well understand them and what drives them.
I still think differently than most but I learned to translate (to an extent). And because it's translation, I still fail at times and people still misunderstand me. Some of this may come across as arrogance but I'm just trying to be honest.
What upsets me at times is that nobody is speaking my language and the only way I can deal with them is speaking theirs. It makes what I say (and particularly what I write) look dull and mistranslated to me. Same as if I wrote this in French. I do speak some French but I'd make mistakes all over the place. That's how I feel with this.
I'm not sure this is exactly what you meant, but this is how it is with me. If it helps in the slightest, great!
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flutterhigh
11 years ago
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Is this why it irritates you that my cleverness is mistaken for yours?
Aren't you describing precisely what I do?
Furthermore, haven't you reacted like that to me?
Despite appearing pretty much antithetical to each other, we're rather similar.
--
wigsplitz
11 years ago
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dappled
11 years ago
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See I don't understand how people confuse you and dappled. Well, I do just because people are dumb and not very observant. So, that was pointless. I guess what I don't understand is, how people can stand to remain so dumb and unobservant.
We're not antithetical at all. We're more alike than either of us want to admit. I have no problem with that. I just want to get to a position where we're not picking at each other. You're a smart bloke and your comments make me laugh. But I hate not trusting you. I don't want to not trust you. And I don't want you to not trust me. I'm not trying to trick you into something. I'm being genuine. The offer is there. It's always been there. But I think we're both wary. I certainly am.
I'd go for openness and honesty, though. It makes things easier. It makes for an easier life. But it also makes it easier for people to get a rise out of you. I guess that's the problem. If you want fairness, I'll play fair. If you want the benefit of the doubt, you can have it.
--
flutterhigh
11 years ago
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Well, I pick at you because it amuses me and you can usually take it, and you pick at me because you're curious and I can usually take it. We're similar, but we've certainly chosen contradictory paths.
Though I've never quite understood why you don't trust me with nothing at stake, or why you feel the need to do so at all. I may not be honest, but I'm open. I can't not be. All statements are confessions.
--
dappled
11 years ago
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First paragraph: I don't think it's possible for you to be more right. You've got it completely. It's exactly how I feel.
Second paragraph: We're at odds again. And I think we both think we are honest and are both arguing about that.
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flutterhigh
11 years ago
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Again, I'm not honest and never tried to be. You're honest. I'm open. All statements are confessions.
I'm going to quote myself from that Sincerity poll, which I now see was never posted because the moderators don't enjoy my posts as much as I do. Maybe it's length; I'll repost. Anyway:
"What does my name or age or sex have anything to do with the things I say? I don't hide those things behind my wit, everyone else hides their wit behind those things!"
Also, I just realized our usernames are complementary colors.
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flutterhigh
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Dappled, are you high? Did you read this comment before responding to the Sincerity post? Also, that was the tamest bite
I've ever executed, so I'm not sure what part of that angered you.
It's still amusing though.