Any advice?

My best friend (of 9 years who I deeply respect and live as a human being) and I have recently taken our friend/relationship to the next phase. Trying to make a relationship work. The catch: in 1 month the Air Force will be stationing him in Japan for 3 years. I don’t want to be “that” person who goes around chasing after people, but my gut is telling me that this person is the right one.
I am conflicted on whether or not I should eventually try to relocate to be with him, or stick out the 3 years and then persue a serious relationship?

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Comments ( 9 )
  • Ellenna

    Have you asked him how he feels about being so far away from you for 3 years? That would be the first step in helping you decide what to do.

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    • we are looking for ways to “cheat the system”. We both know 3 years is too long to be apart and be in a healthy relationship, but if we stick out the 3 years, he could be stationed back in the states and we could make that work. It’s just sucky knowing that he is the right person, but the timing will never be right.

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  • Tealights

    1. Get married within the month (courthouse, do ceremony later with family) and move to Japan with him. Explore the world a bit while he's in the Air Force, gain new experiencing while sharing it all with your best friend/husband.

    2. Remain best friends and spend the next 3 years doing your own thing. If you both are still single after the 3 years, then start the relationship. No pressure, and no rush. You two spent nearly a decade being friends, what's 3 more years?

    3. Form a long distance relationship, and hold on for the next 3 years.

    I would go with suggestion 2. No pressure, and no rush. The friendship is great, and it's something you two can handle without it getting weird or feeling the weight of the relationship. If during the 3 years that you two start dating other people, then so be it; but be sure to talk it out thoroughly.

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    • Option 1 is what I want, but option 2 is the much more sensable option. We’ve dated before, and have dated others inbetween. Something internal is pulling us back together and I really want to trust my gut this time.

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      • Tealights

        Nothing wrong with option 1, you two known each other for a long time, and if you truly feel safe and loved by him go for it.

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        • We agreed that he should go scope out japan for a little bit before I move anywhere. I may have been overreacting just because I know he will be leaving soon, but we want to think this out and not make any rash decisions.

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  • LloydAsher

    Move on. Trust me Japan are filled with babes on a higher attraction level than you (unless you are an 8-10) having a Japanese girlfriend is also so much better than a American one for reasons I'm not going to disclose ;) unless you can get that guy to marry you and you both transfer over to Japan you are better off moving on.

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  • SwickDinging

    I'd be applying for jobs in Japan and taking lessons in Japanese. When I was young I never passed up the opportunity to go and live somewhere new for a bit, any excuse. Even if you two don't work out then you've still got the amazing experience of living in Japan for a couple of years.

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  • Doesnormalmatter

    After 3 years off its going to be pretty damn tough. If I were you, I would part ways, but I'm hardly a romantic, so keep in mind my bias.

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