American ebonix

Well, Seymour, I made dat shit. Despite yo' directions.

Ah. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome.

I hope you prepared fo' a unforgettable luncheon.

Yeah.

Oh, egadz muthafucka! My fuckin roast is ruined.
But what tha fuck if I was ta purchase fast chicken n' disguise it as mah own cooking, biatch? Delightfully devilish, Seymour.

Ah-

Skinner wit his wild-ass explanations Da superintendentz gonna need his crazy-ass medication
When dat schmoooove muthafucka hears Skinnerz shitty exaggerations
There'll be shiznit up in hood tonight

Seymour playa!

Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretchin mah calves on tha windowsill.
Isometric exercise. Care ta join me son, biatch?

Why is there smoke comin outta yo' oven, Seymour, biatch?

Uh- Oh. That aint smoke. It aint nuthin but steam.
Steam from tha steamed clams our crazy asses having. Mmm. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Steamed clams.
Whew.

Superintendent, I hope you locked n loaded fo' grillwaterin hamburgers.

I thought we was havin steamed clams.

D'oh, no. I holla'd steamed hams.
Thatz what tha fuck I call hamburgers.

Yo ass call hamburgers steamed hams, biatch?

Yes yes y'all. It aint nuthin but a regionizzle dialect.

Uh-huh. Uh, what tha fuck region?

Uh, upstate New York.

Really.
Well, I be from Utica, n' I've never heard mah playas use tha phrase "steamed hams.

Oh, not up in Utica. No. It aint nuthin but a Albany expression.

I see.

Yo ass know, these hamburgers is like similar ta tha ones they have at Krusty Burger.

Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Oldskool crew recipe.

For steamed hams.

Yes yes y'all.

Yes fo' realz. And you call dem steamed hams despite tha fact dat they is obviously grilled.

Ye- Yo ass know, the- One thang I should- Excuse me fo' one second.

Of course.

Well, dat was straight-up dope naaahhmean, biatch? A phat time was had by all. I be pooped.

Yes yes y'all. I should be-
Dope Lord hommie! What tha fuck iz goin' down up in there, biatch?

Aurora borealis.

Uh fo' realz. Aurora borealis at dis time of year at dis time of dizzle up in dis part of tha ghetto localized entirely within yo' kitchen?

Yes yes y'all.

May I peep it, biatch?

No.

Seymour playa! Da doggy den is on fire!

Fuck dat shit, Muthafucka n' shit. It aint nuthin but just tha northern lights.

Well, Seymour, yo ass be a odd fellow but I must say you steam a phat ham.

Help, help!

Ebonics.

It da man keypin yo ass down.

Yo I didn't get a word of what you are saying homy