Loving her less because she had sex before hooking up with you _IS_ belittling her and your mutual feelings.
That is not strange by itself, having a partner more experienced than oneself is often evokes weird feelings in people.
I was merely saying giving in to this feeling is what a child would do. It's not unlike seeing another child with a toy you want and getting a chance to grab it. As mature person, you should stand ABOVE those things, and love her for who SHE is, and have sexual intercourse for what CONNECTS you, and not because of a romantic ideal of being virgins together.
Also, as tommy implied, 2 unexperienced people more likely than not make for 1 awkward experience.
You may think as you please, but i have never claimed it's "right or wrong".
Merely that since sexuality still remains a somewhat taboo topic in open society, we learn little about the social rules that apply.
We don't "grow up" in a sexual way, because before those first experiences, probably all we knew was from porn, awkward talks with parents, sex ed, or speculation from friends.
All i said, and i stand by that, was that refusing to be with a person you feel for on grounds that you are not the FIRST person they are with, is similar to childlike behaviour about toys. When it comes to physical objects we can own, we LEARN to restrain ourself, to contain envy or jealousy and not let that affect our decision-making overly much.
When it comes to sharing intimate bonds with other people, we jump from childhood to adulthood pretty quickly.
I maintain the argumentation he uses as reasoning for possibly not wanting her is "childish". It's not wrong, i even said it's widely spread.
But taking a moment to think about it, there's absolutely no reason it should take precedence over emotional reasoning(you want to be with that person, you feel for that person, you have an emotional bond with this person that you want to intensify) or logical reasoning(there is no logical reason to refuse a partner on account of the partner having more experience...the opposite is true: more experienced partners will allow it to be more fun and possibly teach you things instead of having you find out by trial and error).
Am I wrong for wanting a virgin for my first time?
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Don't excuse yourself if you don't mean it.
Loving her less because she had sex before hooking up with you _IS_ belittling her and your mutual feelings.
That is not strange by itself, having a partner more experienced than oneself is often evokes weird feelings in people.
I was merely saying giving in to this feeling is what a child would do. It's not unlike seeing another child with a toy you want and getting a chance to grab it. As mature person, you should stand ABOVE those things, and love her for who SHE is, and have sexual intercourse for what CONNECTS you, and not because of a romantic ideal of being virgins together.
Also, as tommy implied, 2 unexperienced people more likely than not make for 1 awkward experience.
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Peptox
11 years ago
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I think it's just up to him and it's a matter of opinion not right or wrong.
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TerryVie
11 years ago
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You may think as you please, but i have never claimed it's "right or wrong".
Merely that since sexuality still remains a somewhat taboo topic in open society, we learn little about the social rules that apply.
We don't "grow up" in a sexual way, because before those first experiences, probably all we knew was from porn, awkward talks with parents, sex ed, or speculation from friends.
All i said, and i stand by that, was that refusing to be with a person you feel for on grounds that you are not the FIRST person they are with, is similar to childlike behaviour about toys. When it comes to physical objects we can own, we LEARN to restrain ourself, to contain envy or jealousy and not let that affect our decision-making overly much.
When it comes to sharing intimate bonds with other people, we jump from childhood to adulthood pretty quickly.
I maintain the argumentation he uses as reasoning for possibly not wanting her is "childish". It's not wrong, i even said it's widely spread.
But taking a moment to think about it, there's absolutely no reason it should take precedence over emotional reasoning(you want to be with that person, you feel for that person, you have an emotional bond with this person that you want to intensify) or logical reasoning(there is no logical reason to refuse a partner on account of the partner having more experience...the opposite is true: more experienced partners will allow it to be more fun and possibly teach you things instead of having you find out by trial and error).