Don't worry about the long post. Long posts are good so long as you use paragraphs, which you have.
Personal morals like the sort you have are only worth holding onto if they make your life better. If they're not making your life better, you should cast them off. You are your own person, and that means what other people teach you might not work for you. You have to make up your own teachings about how to be happy.
Pursuing girls to make you feel more like a man is the easy, temporary way out of insecurity. Even if it stops you feeling pathetic, you're still giving control of your self-esteem to other people instead of controlling it yourself. When you're pursuing a relationship or sex in order to boost your self-esteem it often manifests as desperation or egocentricity, which puts girls off.
Drinking can help you explore what you can get away with socially. Staying reserved stops you from exploring the unwritten rules of the social world. Alcohol can help you explore those rules by lowering your inhibitions, but make sure you don't become dependent on it to socialize.
Am I too reserved?
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Don't worry about the long post. Long posts are good so long as you use paragraphs, which you have.
Personal morals like the sort you have are only worth holding onto if they make your life better. If they're not making your life better, you should cast them off. You are your own person, and that means what other people teach you might not work for you. You have to make up your own teachings about how to be happy.
Pursuing girls to make you feel more like a man is the easy, temporary way out of insecurity. Even if it stops you feeling pathetic, you're still giving control of your self-esteem to other people instead of controlling it yourself. When you're pursuing a relationship or sex in order to boost your self-esteem it often manifests as desperation or egocentricity, which puts girls off.
Drinking can help you explore what you can get away with socially. Staying reserved stops you from exploring the unwritten rules of the social world. Alcohol can help you explore those rules by lowering your inhibitions, but make sure you don't become dependent on it to socialize.