Dump him. No matter gay or straight, out of the blue or after a confrontation, I cannot imagine beating your loved one.
It's not your fault. I know you might feel that way, but that's how abusive relationships work. The abuser will mix love, violence and blame the violence on the victim, so that the victim will feel bad about wanting to leave.
I would assume it's normal that if you harras someone and insensitively bring up something painful from someone's past, the person might say some things they might regret later. Your boyfriend is utterly fucked up to trigger you and then injure you when, suprise, you show that it bothered you. That's how abuse works - it's his fault, but he controlled the situation enough to make you feel that you're the bad guy.
For your sake, get out. It will only get worse. Where do you live? If in the U.S., call Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project at 1-800-832-1901 or The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. If in the U.K., call ManKind Initiative at 01823 334244, Men's Advice Line at 0808 801 0327 or Broken Rainbow UK at 0300 999 5428.
I'm planning to now, but I'm having trouble with rent, as in having enough to live on my own.
I understand now, and now I'm starting to realise that he may have just been using me.
Yeah I don't know how the average person would react but I said those harsh things because his joke really hurt me, felt like he was driving a knife through my heart...
I was so shocked I didn't even cry when he hit me, only later after the cops left.
I live in Australia, do any of those hot lines have branches where I live? And is it safe to call them right now or until I move out, their just advice hotlines right? I don't know what my boyfriend is capable of anymore...
There's Mensline Australia 1300 789 978
Here's a website for men in Australia:
http://www.oneinthree.com.au/
here are resources
http://www.oneinthree.com.au/servicesandresources/
Including hotlines and special resources for gay men.
Preferably don't call any hotline while at home. Tell him you have to go buy something, then go out and phone a hotline in the park or in the public toilet etc. Preferably somewhere private. Then buy something so he won't get suspicious. I would tell you to go to a friend and call the hot line there, but from your responses you seem to have nowhere to go.
This is a fucked up situation and I'm glad you realized this and you are taking steps to get out.
Thank you really appreciate this.
Sure, I can even call after work or uni and just lie that my class or my work hours got extended. So I don't create any superstition, since I use his money and he usually wants to go shopping with me. Sadly no extended family here either,they're in Europe and I doubt they want to deal with me.
Yeah I guess I've been desperate and just clinging on what I thought I deserved.
Am I to blame for this abuse?
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Dump him. No matter gay or straight, out of the blue or after a confrontation, I cannot imagine beating your loved one.
It's not your fault. I know you might feel that way, but that's how abusive relationships work. The abuser will mix love, violence and blame the violence on the victim, so that the victim will feel bad about wanting to leave.
I would assume it's normal that if you harras someone and insensitively bring up something painful from someone's past, the person might say some things they might regret later. Your boyfriend is utterly fucked up to trigger you and then injure you when, suprise, you show that it bothered you. That's how abuse works - it's his fault, but he controlled the situation enough to make you feel that you're the bad guy.
For your sake, get out. It will only get worse. Where do you live? If in the U.S., call Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project at 1-800-832-1901 or The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. If in the U.K., call ManKind Initiative at 01823 334244, Men's Advice Line at 0808 801 0327 or Broken Rainbow UK at 0300 999 5428.
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Anonymous Post Author
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I'm planning to now, but I'm having trouble with rent, as in having enough to live on my own.
I understand now, and now I'm starting to realise that he may have just been using me.
Yeah I don't know how the average person would react but I said those harsh things because his joke really hurt me, felt like he was driving a knife through my heart...
I was so shocked I didn't even cry when he hit me, only later after the cops left.
I live in Australia, do any of those hot lines have branches where I live? And is it safe to call them right now or until I move out, their just advice hotlines right? I don't know what my boyfriend is capable of anymore...
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SpookyPancake
6 years ago
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There's Mensline Australia 1300 789 978
Here's a website for men in Australia:
http://www.oneinthree.com.au/
here are resources
http://www.oneinthree.com.au/servicesandresources/
Including hotlines and special resources for gay men.
Preferably don't call any hotline while at home. Tell him you have to go buy something, then go out and phone a hotline in the park or in the public toilet etc. Preferably somewhere private. Then buy something so he won't get suspicious. I would tell you to go to a friend and call the hot line there, but from your responses you seem to have nowhere to go.
This is a fucked up situation and I'm glad you realized this and you are taking steps to get out.
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6 years ago
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Thank you really appreciate this.
Sure, I can even call after work or uni and just lie that my class or my work hours got extended. So I don't create any superstition, since I use his money and he usually wants to go shopping with me. Sadly no extended family here either,they're in Europe and I doubt they want to deal with me.
Yeah I guess I've been desperate and just clinging on what I thought I deserved.