Am i stupid, or just stupid in communication?

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10 Comments

I have Aspergers and I know it's a social difficulty, but it feels like more than that to me. It feels like it takes too long for my brain to work out what I want to say or make in a conversation, so I stay quiet most of the time. When I want to talk, I still have very little to say or if I say more than I can handle I end up sounding like a mumbling idiot.

I can hardly put my thoughts into words. A 10 year old could do better than me. When I look at most people, they can do it so well and so easily compared to me and it just makes me think I'm stupid. There's even a lot more I want to say in this question, but I can't think of anything to put into words, so I'm just going to stop.

See how hard it is for me? Is this normal with aspies or am I just stupid that my brain can't pick up any words? If I'm not stupid then why can other people do it and not me. Not that I've ever heard it before, but I think communication and being able to express yourself is a sign of intelligence, which I can't do.

Even "stupid" people seem to be able to hack it, then why can't I? Don't say we can't be good at everything, I know that, but communication is one thing you NEED to be good at, at least somewhat capable of in order to get by. Imagine being quiet for the rest of your life just because it's near impossible to express yourself. You'd be in for a miserable life.

Think about it, you can't have friends because that involves talking, you can't date or have a relationship because that involves talking, you can't go to a job interview because that involves talking, which is why I'm unemployed. You can't have a conversation because that involves talking, and I think someone would eventually go crazy if they never had anyone to talk to.

It gets so bad that I can't even go out and buy things at the till because that involves talking, and there's plenty of other things I want to say that involve talking but I can't because that involves more TALKING, well, writing in this case, but you get my point. And most of all, it makes me feel worthless. At least it's easier to put my thoughts across on the internet because I have a bit of time, but in real it's on the spot. Yeah, I'm out of words now.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago | pl

    Just from the way this is written, and how far you have thought the point out, you are not stupid. I don't know how the Aspergers aspect of it makes it more difficult to communicate, but as far as intelligence, you are not lacking.

    Just think, half of the IIN users can't figure out how to use a paragraph, n hlf of um tlk leik dis!

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  • Shrunk
    11 years ago | pl

    I'm exactly the same way, I get so nervous talking to people that I can't even hear myself talk, I end up tripping on my words or saying something stupid, so I dont even bother anymore. I don't have aspergers as far as I know but I'm starting to wonder because I seem to identify with a lot of their symptoms. I haven't found any help yet but I'm thinking there is some kind of therapy for this

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    • chewy
      11 years ago | pl

      I am an Aspie :D

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      • Shrunk
        11 years ago | pl

        Aww really? :)
        I tend to be able to relate to them easier... I never really notice it in people unless it is something very physically obvious

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        • chewy
          11 years ago | pl

          I was diagnosed with mild Autism so it isn't obviously noticable.

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  • Legion
    10 years ago | pl

    I feel like this alot, I usually cant always think exactly what i want to say at that exact moment, especially when im put on the spot, and almost always come up with what i wanted to say (or something better) the moment after, and it aggravates me to no end. trying to organize my thoughts right at the moment is difficult for me, and i usually have trouble in conversations, unless its a group discussion of a topic I have a lot of knowledge in. I hardly have a problem giving a presentation, especially if i had a lot of time to prepare (sometimes, a little too much so, and my enthusiasm may put others off).

    I have no such problems when writing or typing. My best friend is deaf, and since I cant sign, We type back and forth (or write), and i can talk to her for hours!

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  • Zetsubunny
    11 years ago | pl

    I agree with most of the comments. The fact that you wrote what you did proves that you are competent and can express yourself. I've never heard you speak, but if you can speak half as well as you write, then you're doing a better job than most of the people I attended high school with. Just because you can't express yourself as well as you would like or can't articulate as well as you please does not mean that you are stupid. :)

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  • chp316
    11 years ago | pl

    You are not by any means, stupid, because if that were true, then you would not know how to spell so well, and when you are writing, you do very well. I think you have a nervous condition when speaking to others, you are thinking about what they may be thinking at the same time that you are trying to speak. this happens to me alot, and it can be scary to have others looking at you thinking that something must be wrong with you.

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  • SMALLS
    11 years ago | pl

    i have no issue when texting, email, IM, ect but in real life i'm a mess. you can still have a relationship if you find the right someone, don't give up now or it only gets worse.

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  • fucksleep
    11 years ago | pl

    I'm like this, no assburgers though.

    Anxitiy.

    So I'd say it's normal.

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