Am i really a cougar and weird?

30 dating a 25 year old man. I honestly don't notice the age gap literally ever. He looks older than his age, is mature, in med school..he's not a childish man by any means. He's sophisticated, intelligent, kind and charismatic. Many people are actually shocked when they find out he's only 25 as they assume he's older than me. This also leads to comments from both friends and family saying I'm "rocking the cradle", "you're a cougar" , "you're weird", "he's a kid", "why not date your age"

I just don't understand the problem with the age. He has his own place, pays his own rent, is pursuing a degree, has excellent grades, in a prestigious university, etc. Also his friends are mature and intellectual as well, he isn't friends with typical 25 year olds and he's also friends with people older than me as well. Not once has either of us noticed the age gap and I'm confused why people feel the need to point it out.

When I was at my friend's 30th party and her 65 yr old aunt was there, we got talking, she asked if we went to school together, I said no and mentioned he was 25. Then when he walked away for a second she asked why I'm dating so young and that he's just "a kid" and how she thought he was older. What?? Also her husband is 75, ten years older so I don't understand her. What even is a 5 year gap?? We're both in the same age group..we grew up with the same music, styles, experiences..not like we're 30 years apart..

Am I weird for this relationship?

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Comments ( 19 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I find it really bizarre that anyone even mentions anything, it wouldn't even come to my mind that it's in any way strange, it's only five years.

    It's also strange for your aunt to say that when her husband is ten years older than her. I'd say she has sexist reasons for it, like it's apparently ok for men to date someone younger than them, but not for women. That's such bollocks.

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  • You're not weird, it's fine. A 5 year age gap is nothing.

    My grandmother was 8 years older than my grandfather and nobody told them anything.

    Now if you were 50 and dating an 18 year old, then it would be kinda weird.

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    • a worse case scenario is a 68 year old dating an 18 year old.

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      • Hey, hey, don't bring our senior contributors in to this.

        I'm not 68 yet, but I do still think 20s and 30s are are most attractive and sexually desired years.

        18 may be pushing it but if they're over 20, I have no problem with 68 and 25. Have fun and make sure you take your heart meds.

        5 years is nothing, unless at least one of you are under 18, then there are a few problems.

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    • Thanks

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  • They sound jealous and bitter, 30 and 25 is not problematic in the slightest. You sound like you’re at the same maturity level and like you’re proud to have him as your partner, no red flags from what I’m seeing.

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  • There's nothing wrong with your relationship.
    However, you better get used to people's comments. There will never be a shortage of ignorant people in the world who feel the need to share their opinions.

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  • You are not weird you're fine.

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  • No one cares, do what makes you happy.

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  • I don’t see 5 years as that big of a gap. My first thought was maybe there’s a difference in maturity but as you described him, he sounds like he’s got a good head on his shoulders so I don’t see it being a problem at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

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  • 30 dating a 25

    😂....No, I wouldn’t class you that way.

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  • You're not a cougar at 30, and 25 is not a big deal at all.

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  • What I find weird is that other people feel they have the right - maybe even feel the need - to express their opinion about this.

    Maybe you'll come back and say it doesn't apply, but I think that way too many Americans have serious problems with being judgemental. It's like they have this delusion that their personal opinions are so damn important that they're doing others a huge favour when they shove their opinions in their face.

    I think it's a variety of Karenism. The fundamental traits of a Karen are being self-centered, demanding that the world operate according to her personal standards and meet her personal needs, and being willing to treat others like shit in her pursuit of her personal ends. In this particular case, I suspect those "personal ends" have a hell of a lot to do with trying to deal with the feelings of jealousy that your relationship creates for some.

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  • Oh fuck off it's 5 years. Most people's parents are aged farther apart for crying out loud

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  • Its just that women normally do go for men older than them. Its not weird at all though. Its only 5 years thats nothing.

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    • Thanks. Actually when I first met him I thought he was older than me

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      • Enjoy your quality relationship. It sounds very healthy.

        If things don’t work out in the future, never fear. A 40 year old cougar that devours 28 year old party boys is a woman that understands sexuality from the driver’s seat. Whew, female prowess like that makes me feel the Earth move. Grrrrrrrrrr.

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  • People can love whoever they damn wanna regardless of age.

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