Am I rasist if I'm white don't like rap

I never said I rape women, but wanting to kill the Chinese? Please! I go to Chinese stores because I like Chinese food, what I also like is when a child, my nephew Ayden, is told that he's still a child and shouldn't have a girlfriend when he's under 18. What kind of crazy man thinks of killing the Chinese and treats women like his bitch? Listen to yourself, it sounds weird, don't you think? Who does that to Chinese people when he's fucking women? Let's be honest, women do love me and they have sucked me off as a gift in the public toilet, I lost count but I don't even remember when I had sex so many times, I must've been drunk, being sucked off by weirdos. I vaguely remember dating weirdos in the pub because when I was 25 years old I was attractive to the weirdos. I'm not making this up, no one else would date them but I was seduced by weirdos. Yes it's weird, I lived a pretty quirky life of kinky drunken sex, being sucked off like it's Christmas, and eating fine chocolates and going to church putting thoughts in people's heads when from that they, as I wanted it like that, thought I was great, I was eating fancy food (and began to weigh 87kg), and wondered why weird things happened (it wouldn't be weird if I was identical to everyone else and "unoriginal", my second time round definition of normal). Normal isn't as simple as that, it's as simple as mimicking everyone, being usual, regular, mundane, average and typical 94%. I went to that extreme trying to convince my mother it is what she said, as normal as possible. Given all this I'll never be neurotypical with that attitude, neurotypicals don't struggle what's going on being weird trying to be normal in an identical way, neurotypicals are identical but not the way I do it, it's just paranoia of how safe the normals are, I use a standard British definition of normal, as follows: "following a norm, rule, or principle; not odd or unusual", really? So we follow social groups or rules, and we have role models? Who's writing these dictionaries?

Let me tell you I was never constant on the bullshit, if anything I'm not going to admit I did something if you put me in a tight spot pressuring me to admit I'm bad, I say no, I haven't done bad things, Amerindian tobacco is the original when I should get it from white-bred American farmers, not Indians, and also some Negroes planting American tobacco, and also Nordic Americans, but not English people, I have a quality standard how I smoke.

I don't eat soul food, but I will try it since I was never introduced to it, and will eat it, but I won't eat chitterlings and a buffalo steak (from a bison), I think the taste is bad, though I'll help myself to some corn bread and yams, and also Uncle Tom's corn salad or chicken spaghetti, it sounds like an Uncle Tom to me, a black with no conventional black culture, I met a green woman once, she was lizard-like and bald and scaly, I thought it was a mask and it hurt her to try to rip that face off, but it was real and she ran to her odd space ship shaped like a ramshackle thick-glassed-lights, spaceship with long thin stands on it, it went steadily and not so fast, it looked old, she left a note that said, "earthling, I learned how disgusting the air on earth is, I love how you pull my face and think it's a mask, that was sweet", that's a lie, I was never sweet, she came back with her husband and he shook my hand and said, "we come in peace, earthling", and the green woman with her blood-red husband died all by themselves.