Am i over reacting

Flip the situation.

If you'd been on the phone talking to a girlfriend or relative about something you found interesting when your husband got home from work, would you have immediately hung up and rushed to help him with the bags and "show him some love"?

Maybe you can honestly say you would have, but most of the women I've been involved with long-term wouldn't.

If he really did stay on the phone for twenty minutes, then I guess you might have some grounds to be miffed, but I have to wonder if you might not be exaggerating. Frankly, this sounds like you're determined to find fault with him, and you're possibly jealous of his relationship with his cousin. Maybe you think his world should revolve around you?

It's unfortunate that most men are not multi-taskers. When we are busy doing one thing we hardly recognize what's going on around us. Also it's very possible he has absolutely no idea he's paying no mind to you. Some people (men) need to be told. Having said all that I would not advise you jump all over his case (which so far you've done great) but wait for an opportune time and discuss (in a calm and respectful way) with him how you're feeling. You may be surprised that he may feel like a chump. I know these things because it was the same in my marriage. She had to explain to me how a relationship worked lol. And after 30 years I've learned to be a multi-tasker. Good luck

he definitely needs help with his bag

Maybe you should talk to him about it and explain your concern and curiosity.

He should have showed you some attention and gave you a kiss or asked how your shift was. Guys can be moody too and sometimes things like that can happen in relationships. Its semi-normal I think and you should talk to him about it if its bothering you, its best to talk about stuff like that and get it off your chest. I don't think you are overreacting.

Support your man.
Silly woman.
Get your act right.
Much better he had married an oriental.
Your cousin too.
Your story is fairy tail.
You work 12 hour?
What country are you from?
That's an easy day.
You complain to much.

Did he just now start acting like that? I seriously doubt it. So you should have known that no matter what he was doing he wouldn't be of much help. Right? Besides, why should he stop what he is doing just because you walked in? If you wanted help, and he was on the phone, leave the groceries in the car and tell him to go and get them when he gets off the phone. Then go do something until he brings in the rest of the groceries. Just suck it up. You are overreacting.

Having just worked a 12 hour shift, you deserved far more consideration than your husband gave you. He's insensitive and selfish. If it was a one-off that's one thing, but if that's a pattern in your relationship it's about time you told him how you feel about it, preferably not at the time he displays his thoughtlessness.

Big deal that he cooked: "for you" or for both of you? So he should if you're working 12 hour shifts and get home at a mealtime!

You should be his number one concern not his cousin.

So basically just because you got home you expect him to drop everything just because her majesty desires attention?

He could say hi though.

On a side note, his cousin sounds retarded.

very much so on behalf of the men we can be doing much worse than a simple didn't help you with the bags he just helped you not cook if "men are pigs" then he would have be on the couch watching tv on the phone cussing at you to cook but no he cooked and he thought cause he cooked you should be able to put the bags away or maybe he was in the process of doing something with the food and needed both hands (hint) is why he had it on speaker