Am i normal , or just going crazy ?
Okay, so I've been in a panic for 6 months. I had a panic attack and thought I was gay for a night because I had never reached an orgasm while having sex with a guy. I thought my vagina was broken or either I was a lesbian. I would only get a orgasm when I masterbate. Btw , I master bate to to straight and lesbian porn. Basically whatever seems interesting at my moment of horniness. But those are the two I enjoy the most. I've never had any feelings or crushes on girls or even imagined a life with one. I've always loved boys my whole life, I've always crushed on guys as well. In college I started hanging out with my friend who had recently came out to me, I loved her regardless of her orientation. I then decided that I would try thinking about a girl when my boyfriend ate me out, and It surprisingly it made me orgasm. That made me feel better because I thought I was broken... I did it a couple of more times, but that never changed the way I felt about men. But then my friends had a discussion nd one said that all girls were gay. After that I started freaking out, I'm like my whole life has been a lie, I thought I was straight my whole life loving guys and now I'm gay. I cried myself to sleep every night, broke up with my boyfriend even though I loved him dearly and quit my job. Now there's not a second of the day where I'm not analyzing my whole life, or paying close attention to everything I do and then my brain tells me, your gay, come out already ... It's so scary and sickening to think that I won't be able to get married to the man of my dreams or be loved by a man.... Had I known visioning girls eating me out would make me gay, I wouldn't have ever done it. I didn't know.. My life has not been the same. I've been depressed, I take sexual orientation quizzes every week.. I always think about it 24 seven. I've tried to except being lesbo but it just doesn't feel right. Like I don't wanna kiss girls, or be in love with them... Am I gay because I like lesbian porn , had 4 dreams of girls doing stuff to me... And imagined a girl giving me oral ?? Or do most girls experience this.. Or am I taking everything too seriously.