Am i justified in hating my mother?

About two years ago, my mother took up photography. Since then, she has grown progressively detached from the "real world". At first, I was happy for her, even if I found photography a pointless hobby. Then, everything became strange. She joined photography websites and began talking about her photos all the time. When we drove somewhere, she'd point out trees and say, "That's my little tree." She'd stare at her computer all night as she painstakingly photoshopped a single image of just random things--grapes posed on a log with boots, crushed eggs and a plunger--all sorts of "artistic" images. Eventually, she stopped cooking. I haven't had a home-cooked meal in over a year. She stopped exercising and working. She just sits at her computer, gulfs down entire pots of pasta for every meal, and complains about the work she doesn't do for a job that she's going to lose soon.
She talks to herself. Outloud. In front of my family and even sometimes in public. She just spews nonsense about how everyone on her photography sites is "the same person" and is "out to get her". Today she went into the laundry room and started yelling to herself about all her inane theories about these perfectly innocent people who suffer from her insanity as she belligerently attacks them online.
She cries all the time. When she's not letting the house grow filthy, she goes into her room and sobs for hours. She cries openly in front of my family too. Today, I came downstairs to find her staring into the kitchen red-nosed and teary-eyed. Before, I would have cared and told her to seek help for depression, but she has literally ruined my family life.
She doesn't talk to my sister anymore, and doesn't ever visit her while the rest of my family goes to see her every weekend.
My father stresses over my mother constantly. It took him a year to realize the extent of her insanity. He only started stressing when she yelled at me in public for sitting in "her" chair--the one by the edge which would allow her to view "stalkers"--at the eating section of the supermarket. She proceeded to sit at another table and tried to ground me.
On a side note, my mother, before she went completely crazy, also alienated my grandparents. She always thought that they hated her and were out to get her. She did this with her coworkers as well and almost got fired for accusing others of stealing her work as well.
Back to the subject, my mother hates me in particular. I was always the unloving child. I was the first to stop appreciating her hobby and the only one to take a direct stand against her. She had on numerous occasions told me "to be nice to your mommy" and called me a bitch. Likewise, I too hate her with all my might. Every moment with her is awkward and disgusting, and she doesn't even realize it. She thinks that nothing has changed since before her photography.
Right now I'm stuck alone in my house with her. We don't talk. So readers, is it normal that I hate her?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I believe the only question here is, what the hell do you do about your poor dad, who has married a psycho? I wish I had help for that part. My mother is nowhere near as bad as yours, but she is unstable, and I have moved to another city to be away from her, but feel guilty for abandoning my dad to that bitch. I'm sure you must be feeling the same way.

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  • hopefully she'll get the help she needs....

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  • i do not believe that you hate her. i believe that you are sad that she acts that way, and want her to go back to normal. there has to be some psychological disorder that explains what she is going through, or maybe something really bad has happened to her to make her act that way. hopefully one day you will find out what is wrong and be able to help her.

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  • This sounds very much like MPD (multiple personality disorder) or perhaps even paranoid schizophrenia. Your mother needs medical attention as soon as possible. Try getting her to go see a therapist that can refer her to a psychiatrist. I am a graduate student, majoring in psychology with a concentration in behavior analysis, and sex therapy, so I read about cases such as this one all day long.
    She needs to be on some sort of medication to stabilize the chemical imbalance in her brain. I would definitely seek medical attention immediately.

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  • At first I thought you were over reacting but as I read I think you're right on some things. It does sound like she needs help, but you can't just not help her because you think she's ruined your family life. Help her and things may get better.

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  • She needs help. Urgently. Why doesn't your dad do anything about this? It's his responsibility.

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  • You need to talk to your dad and get your mother to see a doctor, not post this stuff on a website. By the sounds of it, your mother could have schizophrenia or many other serious mental illnesses. Good luck.

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  • She sounds as though she's more to be pitied. If she's not on drugs, she needs to be. She could be in the early stages of Alzheimers. You need your dad to get the family doctor out to see her, or if you're old enough, go to the doctor with a recording on your phone of her behaviour and ask his / her advice!

    She sounds crazy, keep yourself safe by locking your door!

    Speak seriously to your dad without ranting.

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    • i don't think it's that serious, perhaps she has not had a hobby i a very long time and now that she has found something she's really happy and proud of herself and wants to share that with people, i have to admit as well we all talk to our selvs out load sometimes i do it, it sometime helps to organize things in my head. interstingly enough i read on a science journal that in you head you will talk to your self a like one hundred words a minute or something crazy like that so i think some may come out. i think she may be overly happy and doesn't know what to do with it all

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    • I agree with ms bird of the joy

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