Am i just attracted to 'unavailable people '?

Oh goodness, dear

On all the posts you make I'm starting to think you imagine dating to being something like grocery shopping, just walking around until you see something you like to put in your cart

You can't just say someone is attractive and expect that to mean you'll both be intense lovers with the passion you'd find Twilight.

Speaking of Twilight, it's on Amazon Prime Video right now and I would really recommend you watch the movies. It may have a connotation of being a sappy love story for teenagers, but it genuinely shows what real love is like.

I have a suspicion if you watch it and really think about what happens and apply it to your life it'll help you work past some of the presuppositions you've made about sex and love

Pardon my ignorance as a cisgendered hetero mostly caucasian man with judeo/christian/agnostic tendincies from the whestern hemisphere, but why do we all specify that we are a part of collective when we are seekeing a specific?

I understand there is hate and bigotry, or really maybe i don't know; but wouldn't it be more efficient to just say youre a lesbian looking for a lesbian, or a gay man looking for another gay man?

Many people do have a degree of attraction to people who are unavailable for various reasons. Its the "thrill" of doing something that should not be done, and usually nothing actually sexual.

It can get you into trouble if you do it with the wrong person and it clicks for a while...

Tldr

So, I’ve been realizing a similar pattern recently with myself. I’m a black LGBT man and with that comes a lot of strife within the dating scene. A lot of my preferences mimic those I’ve been exposed to in childhood mostly, as I just think I’m attracted to people who seem unattainable. I want to feel like I have the capability to transcend people’s problems emotionally because a lot of the men in my early life were emotionally stunted, aggressive, and attractive. It gives me a sense of control. The more beautiful someone is, the more damaged I’d expect them to be in order for them to like me? Also a friend of mine who has never dated before has the same expectations for people she wants to date. They tend to seem picture perfect and we always pair up personality traits so create the perfect person. I think it’s overall unhealthy and you’ll find that you’re interests might change depending on actually dating someone “unattainable”. It’s always about who someone is on the inside and whether or not they are fully willing to learn about you and share themselves with you!

Anyway, I’d say you should gather some intel. If you’re a sight for sore eyes and can land someone you’re attracted to according their unavailability, then I’d say you should go for it! It’s still taking me some time to learn about people and how “the chase” isn’t always important. It may have more to do with ego and the prospect of the chase meaning the harder is it to get someone, doesn’t mean the more that person is worth. Sometimes it’s much simpler. Allow yourself to focus in the ease of attracting someone maybe you’ll attract what you’ve wanted? Hoping you the best!! :-)

No, not normal.