Short answer: yes, you are. But you also describe yourself as a sex addict, and it's hardly surprising that an addict feels entitled. To make it absolutely clear: you are not entitled to sex purely by virtue of being in a relationship, no matter what you give your partner.
By the same token, you aren't obligated to give her money. I can only assume you continue to do so because you're a sex addict - please get help from a therapist, and get out that relationship with her for your own good.
It seems to me that the "reward system" shit *was* all in your head. It's pretty abnormal way to think about your relationship if you've not discussed it with your partner at all. If you take one thing away from this relationship (when you leave, which I think you need to do) it's that you need to communicate in future relationships.
I'm not going to make any judgements about whether or not she is being an ass too. Maybe she's perfectly aware of your position and she's taking advantage of you, but maybe she's not. In a loving relationship it's perfectly normal for a partner with a lot of money to pay for one who doesn't, and it doesn't sound like you communicate your feelings to her so it's entirely possible she doesn't know how you feel. You clearly already have suspicions that she sees a different sky to you, and I wouldn't ignore that instinct. I'd have to hear her side to make a decision. The point is that you are acting like an entitled ass and you need to stop for your own sake. If that means getting out of the relationship, seeing a therapist and regaining a clear head, then do it.
EDIT: Shouldn't have to say it, but I'm not taking her side. I'm even telling you to dump her for your own good! :P I'm just saying that your attitude to sex, and your experience of it as an addiction, is a real problem here. For me, whether she is taking advantage of you or not isn't the important matter here. You are the focus of your own experience.
Your assumption of him being a sex addict has no grounds. He can count how many times he's had sex in half a year on one hand. There is nothing to suggest you're an addict if you want a little more than that. Furthermore he did state there was a point in time when she wanted it more than he could keep up with. And while we're at it, lets not assume she's non the wiser of what's been going on for a year and a half. *That* would be taking sides.
The OP literally says "I got addicted very quickly". I'm basing it on that, and it makes the entire rest of the post actually make sense (for a start, why would the OP continue paying her for sex for months, without even getting the sex, if the OP weren't an addict? That doesn't sound like the actions of someone of sound mind.).
Well don't you worry, because I'm not assuming she's non-the-wiser. I made it extremely clear I wasn't making a judgement, and gave lip service to both the possibility of her guilt and the possibility of her innocence. Why wasn't that satisfactory to you? Was it my refusal to condemn her as a gold digging slut (even though there's no evidence for it whatsoever and we've not heard her side)?
Am I being an ass, or is she?
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Short answer: yes, you are. But you also describe yourself as a sex addict, and it's hardly surprising that an addict feels entitled. To make it absolutely clear: you are not entitled to sex purely by virtue of being in a relationship, no matter what you give your partner.
By the same token, you aren't obligated to give her money. I can only assume you continue to do so because you're a sex addict - please get help from a therapist, and get out that relationship with her for your own good.
It seems to me that the "reward system" shit *was* all in your head. It's pretty abnormal way to think about your relationship if you've not discussed it with your partner at all. If you take one thing away from this relationship (when you leave, which I think you need to do) it's that you need to communicate in future relationships.
I'm not going to make any judgements about whether or not she is being an ass too. Maybe she's perfectly aware of your position and she's taking advantage of you, but maybe she's not. In a loving relationship it's perfectly normal for a partner with a lot of money to pay for one who doesn't, and it doesn't sound like you communicate your feelings to her so it's entirely possible she doesn't know how you feel. You clearly already have suspicions that she sees a different sky to you, and I wouldn't ignore that instinct. I'd have to hear her side to make a decision. The point is that you are acting like an entitled ass and you need to stop for your own sake. If that means getting out of the relationship, seeing a therapist and regaining a clear head, then do it.
EDIT: Shouldn't have to say it, but I'm not taking her side. I'm even telling you to dump her for your own good! :P I'm just saying that your attitude to sex, and your experience of it as an addiction, is a real problem here. For me, whether she is taking advantage of you or not isn't the important matter here. You are the focus of your own experience.
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Gallieon
8 years ago
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Your assumption of him being a sex addict has no grounds. He can count how many times he's had sex in half a year on one hand. There is nothing to suggest you're an addict if you want a little more than that. Furthermore he did state there was a point in time when she wanted it more than he could keep up with. And while we're at it, lets not assume she's non the wiser of what's been going on for a year and a half. *That* would be taking sides.
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dom180
8 years ago
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The OP literally says "I got addicted very quickly". I'm basing it on that, and it makes the entire rest of the post actually make sense (for a start, why would the OP continue paying her for sex for months, without even getting the sex, if the OP weren't an addict? That doesn't sound like the actions of someone of sound mind.).
Well don't you worry, because I'm not assuming she's non-the-wiser. I made it extremely clear I wasn't making a judgement, and gave lip service to both the possibility of her guilt and the possibility of her innocence. Why wasn't that satisfactory to you? Was it my refusal to condemn her as a gold digging slut (even though there's no evidence for it whatsoever and we've not heard her side)?