No one rejected me. I'm just pissed off at people who casually say that looks aren't important, that as long as you're confident then you're ok, as if this will make me feel better. But that's a much bigger punch in the face than saying you need to be good looking to get a girlfriend. That's a criticism of my personality. Plus it can be a much harder thing to overcome than looking more attractive, which in many cases can be solved with some acne cream, a new haircut and a stylish shirt.
I didn't mean that being nice was the only qualification for a partner, I know that attraction is important for a partner. I just meant in general in life, being nice is really the only important quality. Anything extra is just a bonus.
I don't know if I'd agree with you on that nice people are just lying about it though. Obviously yeah, they could just be pretending to be nice, but that'd be a very small percentage really. If you only went out with attractive confident people because you were worried that the nice guys were just faking it anyway, then you'd likely meet a lot more douchebags than you otherwise would.
Honey, confidence is in your control - and something that's more important than haircuts and acne cream. It's harder to overcome simply because it's so important to not only your relationships with others, but in yourself.
I know it's in control from experience. I used to be dorky. I was embarrassed about my slight lisp, my acne, my crooked teeth, my poofy hair, and one day I decided that I wasn't going to be embarrassed to exist. I immediately acted the part of girls I looked up to. I walked tall, smiled wide, and dressed the way I wanted to with my hair in a full poof.
It was hard at first, yeah. I would internally panic and sometimes actually pardoned myself to have secret crying fits of discomfort. I shook as I delivered my speech to become class president, couldn't breathe when I asked someone out for the first time, and wondered every night why I kept pushing - but it worked. I'm in college commercials and I'm celebrating my three year anniversary with that boy now.
I'm still stereotypically unattractive - but it seems like people don't notice anymore. Boys actually like me. Hell, earlier I complimented someone's jacket and had to stop him from giving it to me. It's all because I decided to let myself freely exist - and you should too. That's all confidence is.
It just seems completely impossible sometimes though, like I may as well be trying to defy gravity. Still, thank you for that, that was some really inspirational advice.
Its difficult, but aren't all things worth doing? Here's a tip: sit down and think about who you want to be in an ideal world. Make that persona into a character. Play that character. It's hard, but do it. Do it in your home, to your friends, to your enemies; even when you don't want to. Eventually weeks pass, and you find yourself aligning with that persona until it becomes who you are.
All attractive qualities in a partner are just as shallow as each other
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No one rejected me. I'm just pissed off at people who casually say that looks aren't important, that as long as you're confident then you're ok, as if this will make me feel better. But that's a much bigger punch in the face than saying you need to be good looking to get a girlfriend. That's a criticism of my personality. Plus it can be a much harder thing to overcome than looking more attractive, which in many cases can be solved with some acne cream, a new haircut and a stylish shirt.
I didn't mean that being nice was the only qualification for a partner, I know that attraction is important for a partner. I just meant in general in life, being nice is really the only important quality. Anything extra is just a bonus.
I don't know if I'd agree with you on that nice people are just lying about it though. Obviously yeah, they could just be pretending to be nice, but that'd be a very small percentage really. If you only went out with attractive confident people because you were worried that the nice guys were just faking it anyway, then you'd likely meet a lot more douchebags than you otherwise would.
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cinderfloof
4 years ago
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Honey, confidence is in your control - and something that's more important than haircuts and acne cream. It's harder to overcome simply because it's so important to not only your relationships with others, but in yourself.
I know it's in control from experience. I used to be dorky. I was embarrassed about my slight lisp, my acne, my crooked teeth, my poofy hair, and one day I decided that I wasn't going to be embarrassed to exist. I immediately acted the part of girls I looked up to. I walked tall, smiled wide, and dressed the way I wanted to with my hair in a full poof.
It was hard at first, yeah. I would internally panic and sometimes actually pardoned myself to have secret crying fits of discomfort. I shook as I delivered my speech to become class president, couldn't breathe when I asked someone out for the first time, and wondered every night why I kept pushing - but it worked. I'm in college commercials and I'm celebrating my three year anniversary with that boy now.
I'm still stereotypically unattractive - but it seems like people don't notice anymore. Boys actually like me. Hell, earlier I complimented someone's jacket and had to stop him from giving it to me. It's all because I decided to let myself freely exist - and you should too. That's all confidence is.
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JellyBeanBandit
4 years ago
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It just seems completely impossible sometimes though, like I may as well be trying to defy gravity. Still, thank you for that, that was some really inspirational advice.
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cinderfloof
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Its difficult, but aren't all things worth doing? Here's a tip: sit down and think about who you want to be in an ideal world. Make that persona into a character. Play that character. It's hard, but do it. Do it in your home, to your friends, to your enemies; even when you don't want to. Eventually weeks pass, and you find yourself aligning with that persona until it becomes who you are.
I wish you luck!
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JellyBeanBandit
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I've heard of that strategy before but I've never given it a go, but I will now then. Thank you.