Age to become 'responsible'

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  • As a 25-year-old childfree woman who also has no desire to marry, or even date, I feel you. Thankfully, my family is pretty understanding, but I've received judgment from others. I just let it roll off of my back, because really, if your decisions make you happy and aren't hurting anyone, whose business is it to tell you to do anything different?

    I highly disagree that being married and having children automatically equals having one's "shit together" or being responsible. I know so many married couples with children who are in some sort of mess or another, whether it be financial, marriage troubles, etc. The idea that just being married and having kids means you've got it together and are a successful adult is an illusion, and the reason people are trying to make you feel bad about your choices is because they aren't happy with their own lives (and are possibly regretful about their own choices), and misery loves company.

    The idea that married with children automatically equals "responsible adult" is laughable, considering how many married people with kids I know who are the complete opposite of that. I could easily give off 10 examples of people I know off of the top of my head.

    Do what makes YOU happy, and screw the rest. If the people in your life can't accept the choices that make you happy and have no effect on them, it may be time to cut them out. Definitely do not do something you don't want to please others, especially with life decisions as big as these, because you will only end up making yourself miserable. Friends don't try to pressure friends into doing things they don't want to do and have no benefit to them (and if marriage and children are not for you, then they don't have any benefit to you).

    I've learned long ago that it is okay to go against the grain as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else, and other people don't have to like it. I have been telling people "No thanks, it's not for me" and having to reiterate that over, and over, and over again for years. Everything from this exact issue to not wanting to remodel my house to the current trendy contemporary style (yes, people are even extremely pushy about silly shit like that). People won't like it, but that's their problem and you're not obligated to live your life and make very personal decisions for others.

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