Advice to younger self

That not all drugs are bad and the people who take them aren't necessarily evil.

And, that you could avoid years of unnecessary suffering at the hands of severe mental illness and learning disorders by experimenting with psychedelics, especially olive leaf tea.

Don't be afraid to live life, think for yourself, ask questions, learn, and be yourself.

Don't be so extreme in your ideals.

Study up on libertarianism, instead of half understanding politics, stereotyping people by their political beliefs, and parroting liberal BS.

Don't get into feminism.

Don't fret about your sexuality in regards to your religion. One day, you'll find peace.

Stop thinking that no one loves you, and getting super suicidal over this. There's someone out there who loves and cares about you so much except you're too blind to see it. Your family loves you too, even if their actions have said otherwise. Even your fraternal family cares about you, despite being told otherwise.

Anorexia is death and nothing to be glamourised. This is no exaggeration. You're going to damage your mind and body if you keep this up. Plus your growth is going to get stunted and you won't grow again until you're 19. You'll spend many years of your life being malnourished from malabsorption, this too will stunt your growth.

When you turn 20 you'll start having a series of growth spurts. Your feet will go from a size 6 in boys to where they currently are, at a size 8.5 in women's. Try not to panic too much.

You'll be a healthy weight, while still retaining your slender physique and fast metabolism, and, you'll develop muscles!

Don't pine for years over a gay guy that you'll never be with. It's not worth it.

Sometimes, you can be a pompous little b*tch without even realizing it. You need to be mindful of how your actions represent you.

Get that beehive out of your @$$ and learn to relax, open your heart and mind. You're so anal retentive towards just about everything. Practically, everything is black and white with you. You're too rigid and extreme. You don't realize that you're exactly what you hate the most: a close-minded individual.

Somehow, some of your peers will actually find you attractive and develop the hots for you.

The special someone I previously mention, a female, you'll be in love with this person for almost a decade but, completely in denial. You'll stay in denial and pine over this person for an amount of time equal to the amount of years that you've known them. You'll learn that the feeling is mutual but, she feels that it would be for the best if the two of didn't act on these feelings. You'll think that your life would be over if she weren't to receiprocate but, it's not. It's okay. You'll actually end up respecting her wisdom, because, romantically speaking, it wouldn't have been a healthy relationship. You'll still be friends and get to explore other platonic relationships.

As for whether you'll be "forever alone", I seriously doubt it. But at 20, you still haven't dated anyone yet and you aren't really looking for anyone either. Plus, you're emotionally crippled when it comes to personal social interactions. *sighs*

Don't fret about your sexuality and gender, in general. I could tell you what you'll end up identifying as but I know how hard-headed and resistant to advice you're, and that you'll end up trying to defy all of the advice I tried to bestow upon you. (etc.)