Advice, in love or lust

50% Normal
6 Comments

Three years ago I met this amazing man. He was married and so was I. Neither was happy with there situation. But had no intentions of being more than friends. Next thing I knew, messages were being exchanged. We began seeing each other, even though it wasn’t right. (No I don’t need to be judged by what I have done). Both our marriages dissolved for several reasons. We began to be together after all, but then he decided to not believe in me and be there for me when I chose to further my education. He in turn shut me out so I done what most would do and walked away. 9-10 months later we see each other again, hesitant at first and shocked, feelings are still there. He talks to me and daily and multiple times throughout the day. I love him, always have and always will. However, he has a gf- she is in another state. So when they are together, it’s radio silent- but the minute she leaves or he comes home the messages return. I can’t turn off my feelings, he continues to tell me
Not to give up, and he still loves me. I just don’t know how much I believe of it. If someone loves me as much as they tell me to, then why am I the one still single? I hate when he tells me anything about her or what they do- so yes I get jealous. I also want to know what does my competition look like. Am I wrong to want to know what this girl looks like that has taken the person I love?? How do I turn off my feelings for him and let him go? I walked away once, do I walk away again? I pour my heart out to him multiple times throughout a day, and I get responses I know you do or I love you too. HELP!!!

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 4 votes (2 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • MissWolf
    4 years ago

    Walk away.seriously if you dont have a kid with this guy. Walk away and block and delete every contact with him

    I wish I did that before having a kid with my ex. Nothing but pain and torture. Saying he loved me. We are soulmates and ment to be together. That I make him the happiest man in the world. If that was true he would of been with me and not someone else

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • olderdude-xx
    4 years ago

    Navigating relationships is never easy.

    It is normally lust initially, and real love develops with time (and when you know his faults).

    Its also normal to fall for someone who has another love interest in their life. My personal advise is that you need to find out if the other knows about you and your interest and activities (and background in this case).

    I'm not going to judge a person for being part of a tiad, quad, etc. My personal rule is that all parties must know about the others (and accept that they will be part of a triad, quad, etc.) in advance of expansion of the group.

    I'm poly myself and have had multiple Female partners most of my life - and they always knew about each other (and often met - if only once). Lies destroy relationships. There's no reason to lie about sex or sexual desires. The right partner will understand that (it's usually not wise to share all the details).

    I wish you the best on this,

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Mammal-lover
    4 years ago

    Tldr use the little arrow key. Its amazing how it affects writing

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Hotnbothered24-7
    3 years ago

    Update- he has asked me to do his taxes now, but when I am available to do them, he will be with her and I can not contact him with questions- yet when I tell
    Him to let her do them he said he would rather not and for me to do them. I have update him and told him I’m done being an option or a second choice or a back up when I deserve to be a priority. Since he has read my text but no response.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Iszzy123
    4 years ago

    He might love you but would he be willing to be loyal to you?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Kurtyy
    4 years ago

    Sis, as he is seeing you while he's in a relationship, he will see another woman when you're together. He is obviously a manipulator and YES if youre important as much as he is saying you shouldnt be single by now.

    Also you're not going to help yourself if you obsess over what the other girl be like. Thats toxic. Look what level youre dragging yourself to because of him? You're beatiful the way you are, this is why he got attracted to you in the first place.

    Dont accept for someone to treat you as an option, you deserve to be treated as a priority. This sentence is what helped me to get over my last relationship. Repeat it to yourself everyday.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0