About to get married

33% Normal
9 Comments

I am about to get married next July. And I'm not sure how to handle the situation I am about to present. I have been living with my fiance for about 3.5 years, proposed a year ago, she has been unemployed for almost a year, she has a company and with government help she is trying to get it started through government programs, and getting nowhere. I am self-employed make decent money and pay for almost everything except groceries.
So i leave the house in the morning and leave her in bed, when I come home most of the times she is in bed, I ask her how her day was she says fine, what did you do? Not much woke up at 3 PM, and she tells me she is not happy because she slept all day and is not productive and feeling guilty. All I know is that the place is mess pet hair everywhere cloths everywhere and no food. Sex is only on her schedule no passion anymore and it's always the same thing.

She suffered from depression a few years ago which, I was there for her and tried my best to help including taking time off work to be with her and help her, things are much much better in that respect

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 61 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • jdvsssssssssssssssssssssssssss
    15 years ago

    Sound likes she is still depressed, I'd suggest you take her to see a doctor. Sleeping all day is one sign of clinical depression.

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  • georgienne
    12 years ago

    This doesn't sound like depression. She might fall back on that excuse, but she's being lazy.
    I'd put off marriage til she gets her act together. Support her, by all means, but until she can pull her own weight don't guarantee her anything.

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  • JanieKaykes
    13 years ago

    I am almost the exact same way. I stay up all night and sleep the day away. I was diagnosed with depression over a year ago. I don't feel depressed, actually I'm generally a very happy person. Just always exhausted and lacking in energy. Try to help her get a schedule and get her sleep cycle on track. I use melatonin it is an herbal remedy (which I did not believe worked until I tried it.) that helps me fall asleep.

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  • imsassy
    13 years ago

    Curious if you ended up getting married

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  • Alaskaraven
    14 years ago

    Judging by the date, too late for advice- you married her, or you woke up and asked her to get her shit together so you could make a life w/ her.

    Hope you had the sense to know ppl are like kids, and will get away with whatever we are allowed to get away with. She needed a little kick to get through the depression [get up, out, exercise, supplements, Paxil, WHATEVER].

    Hope you did not marry her under those circumstances

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  • DiscoDuck
    14 years ago

    R U crazy????

    Why on earth would you willingly want to marry a person like that???

    You must hate yourself a lot in order to condemn yourself to a life time a misery.

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  • OnTheRie
    14 years ago

    I think jdvs is correct, sounds like she still has depression.

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    • DiscoDuck
      14 years ago

      depression or not, its not his responsibility to fix her, wait until she is better or be obliged in some way to stick with her.

      people act as if, one person should glue themselves to another person for some reason. He doesn't owe her a thing....I would leave immediately.

      I say this because I was in his shoes when I was younger and regret it until this day. I will never attach myself to a woman to the extent of living in misery.

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  • hazeltopping
    15 years ago

    What you've told us here is all the bad sides to your relationship I guess? So I wil not tell you to leave her... (which i was going to)

    You need to tell her straight what she is doing. Help her get back on her feet, with asking her hat she would like to get acomplished this week. Then together make a plan. Make it a realistic plan. Including the time she will wake up everyday. Let her set an alarm, preferably near the time you go to work, so you can help her get out of bed.
    She might have sleeping problems? She needs to get into a regular sleeping pattern. Go to the doctor, I'm sure they will give her a list of things to help her get to sleep.

    Another thing... Make her realise how precious life is, and she is letting it slip. Ask her what she wants tp achieve, and that she needs to start now. If her business is not going well. Just give up and move on. Tell her she will be more successful next time round.

    Good luck

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