A weird pet story
once upon a time I was a little kid. the next day was my birthday, I had'nt realized I was about to become a dude, it was a friday, I was sooo happy at that day[for everything(& because its sunday next day)].but I failed to realize something I have'nt even completed the chapers of the first semester of life. it was one of my normal birthdays, nothing special, I cant see any gift boxes on my birthday until today. no surprise party or gifts. it was a normal day after noon. next day, I felt something inside my heart, it's like a hot coffee absorbed by my heart like a sponge. its when I realized my heart turned into a pinkishRed colour. I felt the same to the teddy bears that I see on the stores I would like to have one. to hug on scary nights where vampies flew over my roof where blind bats move out of the way..... it was a shivering night were spiders hanging on the sealing. somehow I managed to sleep
my parents can buy me anything I need but not the little things to make me psychologically happy. I didn't live in same place as a byproduct I don't have a room of my own. I like to have an own room and modify it like I love, even if I can hang a picture I like on my room I feel like I am on heaven. I heard from many people that they like their childhood a lot & if they can, they will stay in their childhood, but I don't because I hate it.
I like to have a pet like a dog or cat, but mom hate it (she hate to take animals inside house, but I love it (more than myself), I didn't tell anything when she tells about it. because when I looked at the same situation in her view of prospective, somehow she is right(hygienically).
but I feel like I can't live like this. (can u guess what will I do?)
nothing morethan watching YouTube (like cute pet compilation)., sometimes I pause the video and sroll my hand over their heads. sometimes I cant stop me from smiling (which may end up in crying). but I still felt like its one of the cutest moment of my life (deep inside me somewhere someone is telling me 'its not'.
I like cats more than dogs. I haven't even touched a cat yet. I hated my older brother for almost 3 months for touching a cat, of one of his friend, who had a collection of pets. but I didn't tell him that I hated him, how can I say that I hate him because of this stupid, jealous, immature reason.
i felt like, I am a shit.
in front of me, one my neighbor friend killed e kittens [i dont know maybe thats why(i didn't stopped him from doing it) I don't deserve a cat as a pet]
now on shivering nights I sleep alone, even when the temperature decreased which lead me to fever, I won't cover myself in the blanket
because now my blanket is my kute little kitten
yes, now I live in an imaginary world where something I loed will happen. (here everything is perfect for me & I love it)
so that I wouldn't commit suicide, because of everything
I even have a cute girlfriend here. I never had a girlfriend in real life.
only crush stories which can crush my heart ( I don't want to remember that again).
I can't survive more time in this real world. it feels like here is no oxygen. but when I get here I used to post some stories
sorry if I wasted your time
I havent tell this to anyone otherthan her,
when I tell something less painful[but painful] to any of my friends, they told me, "if I where you I would be a mental patient"
thats when I decided to ask you'll