A guys name came through my girlfriends phone

15% Normal

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years. From time to time we ask to see things on each others phone if something pops up and sometimes we just take each other’s word. The past year has been rocky stupid 2-3 day break ups and getting back together. One of the times we broke up we got back together and a guys name popped up on her phone the first night back together I handed her the phone and asked who’s Derek? She kind of looked worried texted back quick and locked her phone. We got into an argument about trust and she went home. She texted me later saying it was a close family friend just checking on her (her mom died from cancer last year) and her moms birthday was getting close so he apparently was just asking how she was doing. I’ve never seen the name before and haven’t seen it since and that was about a month ago. They’re still friends on Facebook I never seen him like her stuff or her like his none of her other family is friends with him either it was just something out of no where. With how she reacted and didn’t want to show me anything should I be worried or just take her word for it?

Voting Results

15% Normal

Based on 20 votes (3 yes)

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Comments ( 57 )

SwickDinging

4 years ago | pl

I'm sorry to say but it sounds like your relationship is over. Once you start this on again/off again thing it is usually the beginning of the end.

And from what you've said here it does sound like she's lying about "Derek". Obviously I can't be sure but it does sound pretty suspicious. Either way, you don't trust her. There's not much you can do to come back from that.

I'd probably just walk away from this relationship.

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- SkullsNRoses
  
  4 years ago
  
  Came here to comment this, no-one gets defensive about a relative texting them. Derek is her side guy.
  
  Spare yourself the drama and leave.
  
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- Boojum
  
  4 years ago
  
  FWIW, my experience leads me to concur with this assessment.
  
  The on-off phase is most often about two people working up the courage to actually do what they deep-down know they need to do, but being held back from the leap by positive memories of the relationship - and there will be those - as well as inertia and fear of being alone forever.
  
  It seems to me highly unlikely that good ol' Derek is a relative of any sort. The fact that you were "officially" on a break when she met him means that, technically, she was allowed to give him her number, but the fact she did and the fact that you're upset about this means she must have been treating the break more seriously than you were.
  
  What makes Derek really significant is that she lied about him not in the desperation of a moment of panic, but after she'd gone home. If he truly is a relative, any sensible person would have said that as a come-back during your argument, but she lied about him in a deliberate, calculated way after she'd had time to think about how to deal with the situation.
  
  This means that you simply cannot trust her any longer, and once trust in a relationship has been blown up by one of the parties, restoring it takes a huge amount of effort by both people.
  
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Nikclaire

4 years ago

Without trust there is no relationship. Break up and do both of yourselves a favor.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  You single ?
  
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  - FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    
    4 years ago
    
    I notice all the people that tell others to break up on here usually are.
    
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    - d0esnormalmatter
      
      4 years ago
      
      Break up already dude. Get a divorce.
      
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    3 years ago
    
    Haha... Denied!!!!!
    
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Sad18yo

4 years ago

Sorry bro :( I dick wacked her punch bag so hard it came like a fountain out her nostrils and sounded like wet sandwiches on cold pavement. Glad your back together tho, I didn’t like her that much anyway.

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MrMercury24

4 years ago

Yeahhhhh you're getting cheated on buddy.

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d0esnormalmatter

4 years ago

Hahaha yesssss

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Mammal-lover

4 years ago

That's one reason on again off again relationships fail. Once the word breakup is used it's never actually off the table and if you are constantly doing it your relationship isnt serious enough to prevent one to notice others. Abd technically she was single when she met this man and you have no reason to be upset. It would be controlling and frankly inappropriate if you demanded they not talk. Either way your relationship is fucked

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- Aethylfritha
  
  4 years ago
  
  Thank you! Thats what i think. If you are mad, just dont see each other for a bit but dont say " ok were broken up" cause what do you expect?
  
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  - Mammal-lover
    
    4 years ago
    
    Exactly! And if it's happening all the time you just move on whether you are noticing it or not
    
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    - Aethylfritha
      
      4 years ago
      
      This is just me but ive never broken up then gotten back together. I might have been mad and told them to stay away from me for a bit...but if i broke up thats it. People are too quick make do rash decisions.
      
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      - Mammal-lover
        
        4 years ago
        
        Exactly! I'm the same way. Mu sister however.. bet you can guess how that went
        
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        Aethylfritha
        
        4 years ago
        
        Break up a hundred times and *lots of drama*
        
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- d0esnormalmatter
  
  4 years ago
  
  Yeah, one of 100000 reasons they fail. 2-3 breakups in a year??? What kind of morons keep getting back together after that shit. And is it 2 or 3? This mf literally lost count how many times they broke up and is posting about something he'll probably break up with her over now! Relationship quality on iin is soooo shitty.
  
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  - Mammal-lover
    
    4 years ago
    
    Yea that relationship is beyond repair. Hopefully op moves on for his own sake
    
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    - d0esnormalmatter
      
      4 years ago
      
      Yeah but I'm worried he is so desperate that he'll just try to get her back again.
      
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        Desperate ? Yea I moved on buddy no need to worry about it anymore thanks
        
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        d0esnormalmatter
        
        4 years ago
        
        You have moved on 2-3 times already and still came back. What makes this time different?
        
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litelander8

4 years ago

Does it matter? Obviously one of the objectives of breaking up is to see other people. I think straight honesty is easier for me personally. But she also shouldn’t be required to tell you the extent of what happened during a breakup.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  We broke up for 2 days and got back together ... the text came through the night we got back together
  
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  - FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    
    4 years ago
    
    For those 2 days she probably started talking to Derek. So what if she did? Will you forgive her and get over it?
    
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    - shuggy-chan
      
      4 years ago
      
      Yeah its more of a question of how you feel about it.
      
      Lets say she was talking to some guy during the break. Even if she slept with him.
      
      You guys are back together now, how much does it bother you. Can you get over it.
      
      Cause if she keeps having secret messages from a Derek, then maybe something is going on and it might be over.
      
      But it might have been just a guy that was sniffing around cause of the break and she was telling him to chill cause she is back together with you.
      
      Decided what is and isn’t oky with you personally first. Then see how it plays out
      
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    - Aethylfritha
      
      4 years ago
      
      Or maybe stop breaking up and getting back together?
      
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- Dunga
  
  4 years ago
  
  It matters indeed. If a guy dates another girl behindf his girlfriend's back, and does not tell the girl it its slandered as cheating, but if its the opposite its ok? PATHETIC double standards!
  
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  - litelander8
    
    4 years ago
    
    My response had nothing to do with gender. Your assumption is pathetic.
    
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    - Dunga
      
      4 years ago
      
      Nope your answer is pathetic. Relationship is about trust. If she wants to date another guy she has every right to but she has no right to toy with someone's heart. This guy has the right to know the truth and if she is indeed dating someone behind his back he has every right to leave her. She can of course chose who she wants, but both guys deserve to know the truth and decide what they want.
      
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      - litelander8
        
        4 years ago
        
        It happened during a breakup.... Someone must have looked elsewhere during a breakup on you. Lol. Relax.
        
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Toledorwb

4 years ago

Imagine how many cocks she sucked in three days

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3 years ago

I know you would like to think that on these breaks your gf would just stay in bed depressed because she can't see you. Truth is girls just wanna have fun, oh girls just want to have fun.

On these breaks she is definitely going out and partying. Thing is she may be deliberately or subconsciously starting fights to have these breaks so she can have fun with other guys.

Either way you need to man up.

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Anonymous Post Author

4 years ago

Good it was time for him to diddle your butt hole while you tickle step daddy’s ball bag you little fuck but hey look on the bright side a few more years of screwing around with your moms bf and your asshole will be loose just in time for you to grow up and find your new boyfriend. And by then I’ll be your new step dad tell your mom to spread her legs I’ll be there in an hour give or take.

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Aethylfritha

4 years ago

Im gonna be honest, people who " break up" multiple times for days or weeks then get back together tend not to have deep and mature relationships.
Whether or not Derek is an issue, i think you guys are not meant to stay together or you wouldnt keep breaking up.

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FromTheSouthWeirdMan

4 years ago

She's talking to that guy. Its obvious. You can't fight with her and have 3 day splits and expect her not to go searching for something better. Yall are supposed to have fun together

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Anonymous Post Author

4 years ago

Alls you do is talk shit on people’s posts get a life dude you miserable piece a shit

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Anonymous Post Author

4 years ago

It’s a fucking question for anyone who wanted to answer go fuck yourself ox

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- leggs91200
  
  4 years ago
  
  The sad thing though - people are putting you down but if some woman posted the same thing, everyone would be saying what a douche bag the guy is.
  
  In other news, it sounds like your G/F has something to hide and she is not good at lieing about it. You already know the "checking in cause her mom died of cancer" or whatever story is complete bull.
  
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  - d0esnormalmatter
    
    4 years ago
    
    I would argue that considering the fact they were just broken up, neither gender should care.
    
    I admit the suspicious story is bull tho. Because of that I suspect she is texting a guy she has/had intentions with but if the only information we have is that they just broke up and a guys name came up on her phone, I don't think he should react negatively.
    
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    - leggs91200
      
      4 years ago
      
      Of course the OP and another member have lowered themselves to one of those "Your mom is a fag" intelligence-level arguments.
      
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      - d0esnormalmatter
        
        4 years ago
        
        Might be missing a reference here, but yeah, OP ain't the brightest fella.
        
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  - Aethylfritha
    
    4 years ago
    
    My husband and i dont generally check each others phones but once i kept getting texts from Adam. My husband kept asking me who is Adam and blah blah...Adam is my trans friend who isnt even a male yet. I told him either trust me or dont. Adam was asking about cat food coupons and an anxiety group.
    
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d0esnormalmatter

4 years ago

I suspect Derek is someone shes interested in because of how lame her excuse was, but your relationship is complete shit anyways so I don't see the point of this post.

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GaelicPotato

4 years ago

"Balls deep Derek, my boyfriend never could."

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D0ucheBabaganoush

4 years ago

My bad, mate

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  For what ?
  
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  - D0ucheBabaganoush
    
    4 years ago
    
    Makin her wet
    
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    - Sad18yo
      
      4 years ago
      
      You may have made her wet, but I dick wacked her punch bag so hard it came like a fountain out her nostrils and sounded like wet sandwiches on cold pavement.
      
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        You didn’t have to tell everyone you were 18 in your name we could already tell
        
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        leggs91200
        
        4 years ago
        
        He ain't 18, he is probably some 13 year old who rides the short bus and has a special jar where he keeps his boogers.
        
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A guys name came through my girlfriends phone