"you're fine the way you are"

"You're fine the way you are" "Be you". Do you actually believe that or is that some made up bullshit you tell people to be perceived as nice and make yourself look good? Or is it "Hey! Be yourself! But only if who you are is ideal"? Come on people, do you want people to be themselves or not? Pick a side.

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  • The mistake with this statement is that it limits who and what people can become. I see it more as a way of controlling people to keep them down.

    "Become the best person that you can become" is a much better thing to say; and it implies that you can learn to be and do better.

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    • Yes, exactly. This saying is bullshit. When you are just being yourself, people then get upset when you have traits they do not like. People have got to stop spouting beliefs like this if they don't believe it themselves.

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    • Yes, this is the ideal!

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  • I've always been who I am so it boils my blood when people say it to me.

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  • *yawns* It depends.

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    • Depends on what? You either want someone to be themselves, or you don't.

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      • People are completely free to be themselves, but other people are also free to not like them, nor be otherwise interested in them either. Life is a two-way street whether we like it, or not. There are plenty of people who don't like me, and it's none of my business as long as those people don't harass, or otherwise antagonize me, and this is true of most people.

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        • What you are talking about is very irrelevant to this discussion. I never said people couldn't dislike someone. I said I find it odd that people say the most important thing is to be yourself, but yet get mad when someone IS being themselves. Learn the facts instead of rubbing your ass all around whatever device you're using.

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          • I think people ought to be themselves of course.

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          • What I was talking about is actually very relevant, because many people will say they want people to be themselves, but deep down inside they only want people they like, or find attractive to be themselves. Many people long to hear someone tell them, "just be yourself", but then they expect other people to like them even if they aren't that likeable. Many people are wanting to hear those words, because they're looking for an excuse to feel entitled to be whatever they want, and expect people to accept them.

            For the most part I want people to be themselves, but in all honesty I probably don't want the person with serious neurological, and psychiatric disorders who will throw a hissy fit on an airplane if they don't get what they want to be themself, because the person that they are is unruly, and incapable of behaving properly in a confined space around other people.

            I also don't want people who sexually harass others, lie, cheat, steal or commit criminal offenses to be themselves with respect to their bad behaviors, at least not when I'm around them. The only reason I can think of for wanting such people to be themselves is so that I can recognize them, and choose not to associate with them, or so that they can be arrested, jailed, institutionalized, fired, and or otherwise appropriately separated from others.

            People generally don't want others who cause problems to be themselves, and I think it's normal, and natural to want those people to be medicated, and or institutionalized.

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            • No, because since being yourself is really that important, then people should have no problem with others being themselves even if they're unlikeable. My point is, what's the point of saying something you do not even believe in? If you only want someone to be who YOU want them to be, then be more specific. I see no point in spouting something you don't believe in.

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  • I think there's a middle ground. "Be yourself" as in be true to who you are; don't try to change into an entirely different person, but also never stop trying to improve yourself. Improving yourself is building upon who you already are, not completely changing into a different person who doesn't feel like your authentic self, to where you feel like you have to put on a facade all the time.

    Edit: olderdude said it best!

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    • But why do people say "Just be yourself! You're fine the way you are". Then get upset when you ARE being myself. Oh hell, why am I even asking this question?

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      • I've asked the same thing, TBH. I've always said that people are constantly preaching "Conform! Be different! Conform! Be different!" I guess saying "Be yourself, you're fine just the way you are" is a feel good type of thing for some.

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        • It most likely is. I honestly don't think people say this because they actually believe it. No, I think it's probably just another way to make themselves look good.

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  • It's just another way to go make yourself more insecure.

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