Basically, when it comes to relationships, everyone starts out looking at the surface of the water, neither caring what's underneath nor how to swim, until we jump in and almost drown.
No one truly knows what they're searching for at first. We're constantly judging people from appearance, mistaking arrogance for confidence, and thinking sex means love or love means sex. We don't have a clue until we make mistakes, and go through heartache we're not sure we'll survive from.
One of the mistakes we make is putting someone on a pedestal, which means we believe that he/she is perfect (has little to no flaws); and we do anything for him/her solely to keep them happy; because if they're happy, they wont leave, right? Wrong. That's unrealistic, and can place a heavy burden on your partner, or feed into their ego if you picked someone who is self-centered.
The solution? Call your partner out on their bullshit. You don't have to be a jerk, but just be brave, listen carefully, and use constructive criticism. That's it. Next to genuine confidence, it's sexy when you can actually communicate well with your partner in different situations, whether it be while arguing or making love, the communication is there. You're not just a yes-man/woman trying to stay on your partner's good side so he/she doesn't leave or get upset.
She has flaws but they seem trivial. I would feel stupid to make a fuss about things purposely that dont bother me. I am understanding patient and neutral naturally so I dont have a problem with things that much. But she probably gets her way more than I do.
I dont make her happy because I am afraid she will get upset or leave or do anything else for that fear. I make her happy because it makes me happy. The rest I am just being me. She can leave whenever she wants I believe no one is my prisoner so I will never beg someone to stay.
Maybe all this strokes her ego if so that would be a little pathetic. Does it still seem like I am putting her on a pedestal?
"Put a gf on a pedestal and she will cheat on you"
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Basically, when it comes to relationships, everyone starts out looking at the surface of the water, neither caring what's underneath nor how to swim, until we jump in and almost drown.
No one truly knows what they're searching for at first. We're constantly judging people from appearance, mistaking arrogance for confidence, and thinking sex means love or love means sex. We don't have a clue until we make mistakes, and go through heartache we're not sure we'll survive from.
One of the mistakes we make is putting someone on a pedestal, which means we believe that he/she is perfect (has little to no flaws); and we do anything for him/her solely to keep them happy; because if they're happy, they wont leave, right? Wrong. That's unrealistic, and can place a heavy burden on your partner, or feed into their ego if you picked someone who is self-centered.
The solution? Call your partner out on their bullshit. You don't have to be a jerk, but just be brave, listen carefully, and use constructive criticism. That's it. Next to genuine confidence, it's sexy when you can actually communicate well with your partner in different situations, whether it be while arguing or making love, the communication is there. You're not just a yes-man/woman trying to stay on your partner's good side so he/she doesn't leave or get upset.
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She has flaws but they seem trivial. I would feel stupid to make a fuss about things purposely that dont bother me. I am understanding patient and neutral naturally so I dont have a problem with things that much. But she probably gets her way more than I do.
I dont make her happy because I am afraid she will get upset or leave or do anything else for that fear. I make her happy because it makes me happy. The rest I am just being me. She can leave whenever she wants I believe no one is my prisoner so I will never beg someone to stay.
Maybe all this strokes her ego if so that would be a little pathetic. Does it still seem like I am putting her on a pedestal?
You're right. I've learned it the hard way. Idealising someone often leads to heartbreak.