At 30 years old I had always had some depression and anxiety. I currently work 7 days a week as a personal trainer and am taking classes to become a Physical Therapist. One of my clients, a little old lady suggested I try and edible as it helps her relax/sleep. I thought, why not, all I hear about weed is good things. So she gave me a tiny piece of a gummy and I felt nothing. I thought oh well and went on with my life. Then she gave me a bit bigger piece.
I took it on a Saturday night while watching some sports I didn't really care about without any real expectations, I thought maybe it will make me a little giggly and enjoy them more. About 30 minutes later I felt super drowsy and felt a pulling force from my right eye pulling me downward like I was getting sucked into a vortex. I fought it for a bit but then figured "I guess this is happening so why not let go and fall into the experience."
I soon found it impossible to stand, I couldn't even sit up in my chair, so I lied down on my floor and closed my eyes. I can barely remember what I saw, weird cartoon like images, I let out a small laugh kind of in awe that this stereotypical thing was happening, like when they show people get high on tv shows.
After a bit my back started to hurt so I stumbled to my desk and tried to turn off my computer, but I couldn't figure out how to. So I crawled into my bed and closed my eyes, there I saw just intense colors, rectangles lined by neon lights, I can best describe it as playing a video game at really high FPS. Things were shifting as I panned through something like a Chinese city with all of the neon signs for all of the shops.
About half an hour later I was getting tried of it and I tried to get up, but still couldn't stand, my computer was still on so I stumbled over and again couldn't bring myself to click start-shutdown so I just held the power button till it turned off. I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. What happened next was 2 hours of just plain discomfort. I got a bit of that "what if this never ends? What if this is the rest of my life? What if I die here?" But as soon as I thought that I knew these were classic signs of a bad trip so I told myself, don't worry, it will pass, just wait it out, accept the feeling, maybe I can undo some of the demons in my head, face an issue I've been ignoring or something. But I never was able to focus on anything, it was just anxiety and inability to sleep. About 4 hours later I finally got up and stumbled to the bathroom to pee and get a drink. (Thankfully the old lady warned me about the dry mouth so I didn't freak out about that.)
The next morning I had a terrible head ache along the crown/center of my head, I just felt off. I did my best just to survive work, it was kind of a blur. I talked to my brother who said he often got a "hang over" from smoking week that would last a day or two so I tried not to worry about it. Monday I still felt off, then Tuesday... Wednesday. During this time I kept telling myself not to panic, but no amount of logic could erase the things I was feeling.
From the moment I wake up I feel tightness in my chest, constant looping thoughts, memory issues, I started forgetting my keys, my lunch, to lock up at work when I was done, missing my turns on my commute, I even put the wrong type of gas in my car. My sanity, my sense of self began to waver. I had had mild thoughts that I'd be better off dead before when my depression got bad but now I have racing thoughts, that killing myself is inevitable, I visualize slitting my wrists and walking off into the wood to bleed out, I imagine driving my car into the wall under a bridge. Absolutely terrifying stuff. I worry that I won't be reliable anymore that I won't be able to function, that eventually I'll forget everything and lose all that I am.
I'm not ready to give up through. It's been a week now and I have slight moments of clarity when I am busy and engaged with someone. I do my best not to feed into the negative thoughts, to give myself props when I DO remember stuff instead of going crazy every time I forget something small. I talked to my doctor today, confessed to him the severity of what I'm feeling and even got teared eyed (embarrassingly so). He gave me Wellbutrin again and Hydroxyzine (though I haven't tried it yet). I have no friends, no real support, I have a crazy busy life so my issues may be different that others but the only answer I have is to keep trying. Make changes, try medication, try cutting bad things from your diet, try eating more fruits and veggies, try exercising, socialized more, talk to a friend, a therapist, a hot line, try yoga, try meditation, find something that lets you relax and most importantly, try to give yourself a break, It's a bit scary reading other people's stories hearing it lasts weeks, months, years, but it's also comforting knowing I'm not crazy and this happens to a lot of people. Thank you all for sharing your stories.
2 months after weed bad trip still feeling bad, what to do?
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At 30 years old I had always had some depression and anxiety. I currently work 7 days a week as a personal trainer and am taking classes to become a Physical Therapist. One of my clients, a little old lady suggested I try and edible as it helps her relax/sleep. I thought, why not, all I hear about weed is good things. So she gave me a tiny piece of a gummy and I felt nothing. I thought oh well and went on with my life. Then she gave me a bit bigger piece.
I took it on a Saturday night while watching some sports I didn't really care about without any real expectations, I thought maybe it will make me a little giggly and enjoy them more. About 30 minutes later I felt super drowsy and felt a pulling force from my right eye pulling me downward like I was getting sucked into a vortex. I fought it for a bit but then figured "I guess this is happening so why not let go and fall into the experience."
I soon found it impossible to stand, I couldn't even sit up in my chair, so I lied down on my floor and closed my eyes. I can barely remember what I saw, weird cartoon like images, I let out a small laugh kind of in awe that this stereotypical thing was happening, like when they show people get high on tv shows.
After a bit my back started to hurt so I stumbled to my desk and tried to turn off my computer, but I couldn't figure out how to. So I crawled into my bed and closed my eyes, there I saw just intense colors, rectangles lined by neon lights, I can best describe it as playing a video game at really high FPS. Things were shifting as I panned through something like a Chinese city with all of the neon signs for all of the shops.
About half an hour later I was getting tried of it and I tried to get up, but still couldn't stand, my computer was still on so I stumbled over and again couldn't bring myself to click start-shutdown so I just held the power button till it turned off. I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. What happened next was 2 hours of just plain discomfort. I got a bit of that "what if this never ends? What if this is the rest of my life? What if I die here?" But as soon as I thought that I knew these were classic signs of a bad trip so I told myself, don't worry, it will pass, just wait it out, accept the feeling, maybe I can undo some of the demons in my head, face an issue I've been ignoring or something. But I never was able to focus on anything, it was just anxiety and inability to sleep. About 4 hours later I finally got up and stumbled to the bathroom to pee and get a drink. (Thankfully the old lady warned me about the dry mouth so I didn't freak out about that.)
The next morning I had a terrible head ache along the crown/center of my head, I just felt off. I did my best just to survive work, it was kind of a blur. I talked to my brother who said he often got a "hang over" from smoking week that would last a day or two so I tried not to worry about it. Monday I still felt off, then Tuesday... Wednesday. During this time I kept telling myself not to panic, but no amount of logic could erase the things I was feeling.
From the moment I wake up I feel tightness in my chest, constant looping thoughts, memory issues, I started forgetting my keys, my lunch, to lock up at work when I was done, missing my turns on my commute, I even put the wrong type of gas in my car. My sanity, my sense of self began to waver. I had had mild thoughts that I'd be better off dead before when my depression got bad but now I have racing thoughts, that killing myself is inevitable, I visualize slitting my wrists and walking off into the wood to bleed out, I imagine driving my car into the wall under a bridge. Absolutely terrifying stuff. I worry that I won't be reliable anymore that I won't be able to function, that eventually I'll forget everything and lose all that I am.
I'm not ready to give up through. It's been a week now and I have slight moments of clarity when I am busy and engaged with someone. I do my best not to feed into the negative thoughts, to give myself props when I DO remember stuff instead of going crazy every time I forget something small. I talked to my doctor today, confessed to him the severity of what I'm feeling and even got teared eyed (embarrassingly so). He gave me Wellbutrin again and Hydroxyzine (though I haven't tried it yet). I have no friends, no real support, I have a crazy busy life so my issues may be different that others but the only answer I have is to keep trying. Make changes, try medication, try cutting bad things from your diet, try eating more fruits and veggies, try exercising, socialized more, talk to a friend, a therapist, a hot line, try yoga, try meditation, find something that lets you relax and most importantly, try to give yourself a break, It's a bit scary reading other people's stories hearing it lasts weeks, months, years, but it's also comforting knowing I'm not crazy and this happens to a lot of people. Thank you all for sharing your stories.