You were asked to "hand out a little" - what, pee?
Joking aside, of course it's normal for something like that to affect you badly. Is it too late (or otherwise impossible) to bring the sleazebag who raped you to justice? That would be best, but if it's not possible, you HAVE to let it go - don't let it ruin your life any more than it already has.
"Is it normal that i am still affected by a rape 3 years ago?"
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You were asked to "hand out a little" - what, pee?
Joking aside, of course it's normal for something like that to affect you badly. Is it too late (or otherwise impossible) to bring the sleazebag who raped you to justice? That would be best, but if it's not possible, you HAVE to let it go - don't let it ruin your life any more than it already has.