10 yr old controls the house

I am a mother of 2. My son is 7 and my daughter is 5. I have been separated from my husband for 2 1/2 years. I met a great guy about a year ago, his wife of 12 years passed away 6 months after we met. He has a 10 year old son that he is now raising on his own. With my boyfriends work hours he is hardly ever home so it placed his two elderly parents to care for the boy while he worked. I had my own house with my 2 children, The more time that we spent with one another with the 3 kids everything seem to look great. I would go back home with my two kids, him and his son would go back home to their house. 2 months later my boyfriend asked if the kids and I would move in with him and his son. We both thought it would be a good idea. I noticed that his 10 year old Got to get by with a lot more then any other 10 year old would be allowed. He curses/fits his father. By my boyfriend working all his hours he showers the boy with materials when he asks. The 1st month things were going good beside all that. Since then I have noticed a lot more changes in the boy he is very violent/aggressive while he plays. He is now trying to start thinking he can control my two children and also very verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive to my children. His father and I have sat down with him many times about this situation. It even got to the point where we sat down with my boyfriend's parents and his son. Now it's been almost a year, I have not seen any changes in the child's behavior. The only change that I have noticed is that the father just brushes everything off even though he sees it and hears it! The other change that I have been noticing is that The 10-year-olds behavior is now reflecting on my own 2 children. Especially in my 7 year old, he has picked up On certain mannerisms of this child's behavior. It has gotten to the point that I told my boyfriend that I do not want his son near my children!! My boyfriend sees that there is a big difference between my two children and his son. I think that there is some serious issues with this boy then what his father knows about. I feel that he could harm someone and get by with it!! I love my boyfriend he is very good to my children and myself but I don't think that I can deal with his troubled son. I understand he is probably hurting from his mother passing so I take that into deep consideration. But I also feel that just because this son of his is having a bad day, shouldn't mean that he has to take his anger out on my kids verbally, physically and mentally. I have noticed that since I have been in this environment due to this kid I myself have been more depressed and stressed. My boyfriend knows my feelings and thoughts about his son. He is asking me to merry him. I don't think I want to because of his son but he swears that it will pass. Please I ask for some advice and I thank you for reading this on how I feel and what I'm going through. Because I truly believe I am living in hell

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14% Normal
Based on 14 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • Pseodonihm

    Ok. I know this is an unpopular opinion but you should put you children first. If this child is, as you said, abusing your children, then get the hell out. If it was your boyfriend doing these things would you stay?

    Also, it sounds as if your boyfriend is in the habit of avoiding conflict. Mostly by passing his problems on to others. But, I might have read the situation wrong

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    • RoseIsabella

      Her boyfriend sounds like a little bitch.

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  • Emil96

    Leave him. If his son has been doing this for soon a year and his father does not care enough to stop him, you have to just leave him. If he takes it out on you guys and have not stopped it. Then he is just a bad kiddo. Leave him, place your children in the first room.

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  • charli.m

    If he's not on the same page as you re parenting, it's not going to be a good situation for you or your children. You may love him, and it may be hard for him and his child, but you need to put your children's physical safety first.

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  • Ellenna

    I wish you'd used paragraphs, I found that hard enough to read because of the content.

    Your boyfriend is in denial about his son's behavior. If I were you I'd insist on professional family therapy or move back out with your kids. You're right to have misgivings about marriage until you sort this out.

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  • Keepsake

    Either start creating punishments for him when he's behaving badly or send him to a boot camp or something for kids.

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  • JewluminatiTits

    Sounds like the boy needs discipline...

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    • JewluminatiTits

      It's only the fathers for letting him get his way. He might hate you at first but he will release that you were right for treating him how he deserves. First talk to your boyfriend and discuss giving him less privlage. This will help him change his ways

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  • RoseIsabella

    A single parent household may not necessarily be a good thing, but it's probably better than a blended family with the wrong people.

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  • Huntey501

    Dude im no expert but look if thats the case have a talk with youre bf and tell him abought some of the bs you go thrugh then say we need to start punishing him. If u want to bring it to a higher level you can scedual a meetup at a prison and that ten tear old can see what hell is and make sure u say that if u keep cussing me out this is were u beelong sorry if its a bit harsh

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  • RoseIsabella

    Dump your boyfriend, or at the very least move out ASAP! Whatever you do don't marry him. Put your own two children first!!!

    Yes, it's very sad that the stupid brat's mother passed away, but it's no excuse for his bad behavior. Honestly, it's stupid for you to date this man, because he and his awful child need time to grieve the loss of their wife and mother, and six months isn't nearly enough time.

    Be smart, cut your losses and leave that guy's house. Don't waste your time concerning yourself with that awful boy's behavioral issues. He's not your child, you don't owe him any concern so please put your own well behaved children first! You won't die of loneliness if you decide to leave the relationship or at the very least move away from those two messed up people. Whatever you do don't feel sorry for that little shit, sorrow and grief are not excuses to act like a little bastard and future juvenile delinquent. More than likely the stupid boy will only get progressively worse as he gets older, and his dad is a little bitch of a man for making excuses and allowing his bad behavior.

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    • charli.m

      You really are a horrible, horrible person.

      How is it the child's fault for acting out and not being guided properly? That doesn't make the child a "stupid brat".

      You, on the other hand...

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      • RoseIsabella

        There is no excuse for acting out towards OP's perfectly normal and we'll behaved children. It's sad that this kid lost his mother, but it's no excuse for his bad behavior! OP is not obligated to put up with this boy or his bad behavior. The boy is his father's responsibility and not the responsibility of OP. OP's only obligation should be to her own two biological children. She ought to leave and cut her losses.

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        • charli.m

          It's not normal for a ten year old who lost his mother six months ago to act out? Are you a complete imbecile?

          If you had stuck to the last two sentences of your comment, you would have been right. You are a disgusting excuse for a Christian. You have absolutely no compassion for the vulnerable. You judge a CHILD who is suffering so harshly? No one is saying that it is acceptable behaviour. But it is understandable, given the circumstances.

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          • RoseIsabella

            Regardless, OP should not put up with any of it! OP's best bet is to leave this relationship or at least that residence for the sake her own biological children. No one is obligated to put up with that poor kid except his own biological father. How I or anyone else online feels about this this child is immaterial, everyone here is entitled to their opinions regardless of whether or not you like those options. I honestly don't know what you think you accomplish on this site when you spew forth your particular form of hatred. You might not be a funny troll, but you act like troll down in your soul when you are always attempting to start start fights with folks on here. I think you must get off on it or something. You're not exactly burgeoning well of empathy and compassion yourself.

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            • charli.m

              I'm sorry you can't handle being faced with the truth.

              I don't claim to be one thing while behaving in a contrary manner. You do. And that's not a matter of opinion, it's observable fact.

              I never said the OP should stay in the situation. If you could read, you would see I have said she should put her children first. Doing so does not mean heaping insults on A TEN YEAR OLD GRIEVING CHILD (note: observable fact of complete lack of compassion for a child, whilst blaming them for something out of their control. Would you try a child as an adult? Wait...this IS you. You probably would ask for the death penalty. WWJD, amirite?).

              I also never said you can't have your opinion, but I am equally entitled to call you a vile creature when you behave like one.

              You also clearly don't know what trolls are. Seeing as you happily crawl up their arses, I don't think your opinion tat I am a troll is anything I should be concerned about. I have no empathy for idiots and trolls (as you seemingly do) but I have plenty for those who deserve it (which you seemingly lack). And I don't claim to be a Christian.

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  • Mommyof2

    Lol Ellenna I wasn't even thinking about using paragraph. I thank you so much for your feedback!! Didn't know if I was over exaggerating the situation

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  • RoseIsabella

    Good for you, girl! Handle your business and take care of your own biological babies. It sounds like you've been more than kind and sympathetic. I'm sure this future stepson is grieving deeply, but that doesn't give him the right to behave like he does. You aren't married to his father so I think it would be best not to think of him as a stepson, at least not anymore now that it seems you've come to your senses. It's a real blessing that you haven't married this man yet, because you don't need to be legally tied to or obligated to either of those two for any reason whatsoever.

    You can pray for the kid and wish him well, but it's best that you wash your hands of him and his father both. You can forgive him and I wouldn't be surprised if you already have to some extent, but forgiveness doesn't have to mean reconciliation when it come's to other dysfunctional and unhealthy people. God reconcile's us to him when we repent of our sins, but he's got the broadest shoulders in the universe so he can do that. That man and his son will only drag you and your children down if you let them. I wish you all the best.

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