10 years on and still not over him, iin?

It won't stop Hurting but as time goes on the pain gets duller and the memories become happier and u smile more.. My grandfather was EXACTLY the same as yours...

Hmm 11 yrs now. Everyone is different And in no way am I offering advice, only my perception if I were in your shoes. I would go to counseling to see what it really is that's making me hold on to him. I think after 11 yrs if his name where brought up only smiles would come to my face and a long distant far off look because I would be thinking about good times. So yea I would talk to a college counselor or counselor to see what it is that's actually Making me feel bad. Ok that was that and my ADVICE to you is: everyone deals with death our own ways, just be glad you knew him and in a way have a part of him (dirty humor) lol

Sure, we all get choked up over a departed loved one at the recall of their memory when it occurs. Im sure that he hasnt forgotten about you and know that time really does heal all things.

It's normal to feel pain when someone you love dies, and lots of people have a hard time letting go. But while it might be common to not be able to let go of the pain, it's not good for you to hold on to so much of it for so long.

The best way to heal pain is to find out where it comes from. I've had to do this many times, but the worst was when my father died. I sat down to write out my feelings, letting whatever came out come out. Here's some of what came out:

I was mad at him for leaving me. Yeah, he didn't really have a choice, but that's how it felt. Feelings aren't facts, but they are there and you have to deal with them. So I dealt with it. I let myself get mad, walked around the house when I was alone and yelled at him. Once I got most of the pain out, what bubbled to the surface were more rational feelings and thoughts that he probably wasn't too happy about the situation either, and that I was really mad at the situation, not him. But the pain I was in didn't let me see and feel that.

I felt like if I let go of the pain and was happy, it was somehow betraying him and his memory. I felt like if I ever smiled or laughed or went one day without thinking of him, it would mean that he really didn't mean that much to me. I started thinking of my mother and how much she meant to me. I realized there were days that went by that I didn't think of her, and that surely didn't mean she didn't mean that much to me - she meant the world to me. So those feelings I had that I would be betraying my father were wrong and I was able to get rid of them once I realized they were and realized it was okay to let them go.

The most important thing I realized once I tried letting go of the pain was that I COULD let go of the PAIN without letting go of HIM. I quit associating all thoughts of him with him being dead and gone. It was a lot of work - every time I thought of him and it went to how he was dead, I had to forcibly change my thoughts to ones of happier times - replacing sad thoughts of me at his funeral, me crying because I needed him and he wasn't there, etc., with thoughts of me and him riding in the truck to the store, me and him sharing a sweet roll and the local diner, and thoughts of times when I needed him and he WAS there.

Finally, I quit railing against the injustice of him being dead when I didn't want him to be. That was a tough one. I had to find a way to become okay with the fact that in life everything changes, that life and the world are NOT JUST, they're NOT FAIR. They just are.

If you can't do this alone, please do find someone to help you. But you have to be okay with letting that person help you. If that's all you can do - be okay and open to getting help, then finding it, that's okay, too - some people can't even do that much, so be proud of that.

I wish you peace.

just a shot in the dark but it sounds to me like you have some standing problems with yourself/insecurities, your grandpa probably made you feel like these didn't exist?

your mourning might end if you solved your problems and you could go on to only feel happy that you were fortunate enough to ever have him in your life at all

Normal but instead try to honor him instead of mourning everday life goes on

You never get over losing someone you love to death :-(

jesus christ