You are setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. As a result, you are guaranteed to fail those expectations. Because you realize this at some level, you are unwilling to take risks and move forward. This is a viscous cycle that will end in you being a loner and social outcast--unless you break that cycle.
You are born with the genes that you carry; you have no choice about that, so you shouldn't get upset about it. There is no point in fussing over those things that you have no control over.
But, as you've noticed, you do have some control over your appearance, your grooming, your weight, you clothing, etc. Knowledge of fashion is a big plus, especially when relating to women. But don't overdo it; if it's extreme, you can end up looking like a freak.
As for your basic physical appearance, realize that being average looking is perfectly fine, in order to be successful. You don't need to look like a model unless you want to be movie star. You can attract most girls with your average looks, including very attractive girls. That's because girls are much more interested in things like personality, demeanor, confidence, tone of voice, etc.
You also need to realize that is perfectly normal to be hurt and even traumatized by embarrassing social situations. But, you need to get over that. Every time you get hurt, you need to figure out what went wrong, take corrective action, and try again. If you get embarrassed repeatedly, it won't feel as bad, after a while.
Since you've been in this hermit stage for so long, you're going to need to take small steps to get out of it. You can't run before you can walk. Go out and start interacting with people. Start with sales clerks in shopping malls. Have brief conversations about clothing and fashion (your comfort zone), and then progressively work outward from that.
19 year old hermit
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You are setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. As a result, you are guaranteed to fail those expectations. Because you realize this at some level, you are unwilling to take risks and move forward. This is a viscous cycle that will end in you being a loner and social outcast--unless you break that cycle.
You are born with the genes that you carry; you have no choice about that, so you shouldn't get upset about it. There is no point in fussing over those things that you have no control over.
But, as you've noticed, you do have some control over your appearance, your grooming, your weight, you clothing, etc. Knowledge of fashion is a big plus, especially when relating to women. But don't overdo it; if it's extreme, you can end up looking like a freak.
As for your basic physical appearance, realize that being average looking is perfectly fine, in order to be successful. You don't need to look like a model unless you want to be movie star. You can attract most girls with your average looks, including very attractive girls. That's because girls are much more interested in things like personality, demeanor, confidence, tone of voice, etc.
You also need to realize that is perfectly normal to be hurt and even traumatized by embarrassing social situations. But, you need to get over that. Every time you get hurt, you need to figure out what went wrong, take corrective action, and try again. If you get embarrassed repeatedly, it won't feel as bad, after a while.
Since you've been in this hermit stage for so long, you're going to need to take small steps to get out of it. You can't run before you can walk. Go out and start interacting with people. Start with sales clerks in shopping malls. Have brief conversations about clothing and fashion (your comfort zone), and then progressively work outward from that.
Good luck!