It's normal, and I think it's really admirable for you to have lasted this long when you've apparently had several opportunities to let your guard down. I understand the notion of saving yourself until marriage, or at least until a concrete commitment like engagement, as you say. However, I disagree with that concept wholeheartedly. I'm not saying you should abandon your morals, but think of it from a different perspective.
Sex is a HUGE part of a relationship. It's very important to be sexually compatible with your partner because sex is such a basic human need. It has to fulfill all kinds of different urges, desires, cravings, etc. I personally think that buying a car without test driving it is insanity.
Another reason that I feel like waiting to have sex until marriage is a bad idea is because it seems that it MAY AT TIMES push some horny, sexually repressed kids to get married too soon and for the wrong reasons. You should marry someone because you connect with them emotionally AND physically.
I think that you are going to continue having a hard time finding a guy that will stick around long enough without sexual interaction. I'm not trying to say that all men are pigs and all they want is sex, but its undeniable that it is at the forefront of most teenage guys' minds. Hell, I'm a 26 year old woman and it's at the forefront of MY mind.
Now. I'm not saying you should run out and immediately sleep with every guy that you date. Hold your ground and let him know he's not going to get it that easy. He should respect that. But if he knows it's impossible, chances are he's going to get frustrated and start running. Just my opinion. If you find a guy that strikes you the right way, let down your guard a little and keep your options open. It shouldn't make you disappointed in yourself if it's a conscious decision that you made after some extensive thought and that you felt right about.
If you decide to stick to your guns and wait until marriage to have sex, be prepared to spend a lot of frustrating time searching until you find a guy that's willing to stick it out with you. Maybe you'll get lucky!
18 Year old girl dealing with relationships and virginity
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It's normal, and I think it's really admirable for you to have lasted this long when you've apparently had several opportunities to let your guard down. I understand the notion of saving yourself until marriage, or at least until a concrete commitment like engagement, as you say. However, I disagree with that concept wholeheartedly. I'm not saying you should abandon your morals, but think of it from a different perspective.
Sex is a HUGE part of a relationship. It's very important to be sexually compatible with your partner because sex is such a basic human need. It has to fulfill all kinds of different urges, desires, cravings, etc. I personally think that buying a car without test driving it is insanity.
Another reason that I feel like waiting to have sex until marriage is a bad idea is because it seems that it MAY AT TIMES push some horny, sexually repressed kids to get married too soon and for the wrong reasons. You should marry someone because you connect with them emotionally AND physically.
I think that you are going to continue having a hard time finding a guy that will stick around long enough without sexual interaction. I'm not trying to say that all men are pigs and all they want is sex, but its undeniable that it is at the forefront of most teenage guys' minds. Hell, I'm a 26 year old woman and it's at the forefront of MY mind.
Now. I'm not saying you should run out and immediately sleep with every guy that you date. Hold your ground and let him know he's not going to get it that easy. He should respect that. But if he knows it's impossible, chances are he's going to get frustrated and start running. Just my opinion. If you find a guy that strikes you the right way, let down your guard a little and keep your options open. It shouldn't make you disappointed in yourself if it's a conscious decision that you made after some extensive thought and that you felt right about.
If you decide to stick to your guns and wait until marriage to have sex, be prepared to spend a lot of frustrating time searching until you find a guy that's willing to stick it out with you. Maybe you'll get lucky!
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12 years ago
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Jen hits the nail on the head here.