...scared to be alone.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago | pl

    I used to feel like I didn't want to be alone. I might still have some latent remnants of those feelings but for the most part I now feel the opposite is true for me. I live alone except for my cat and I can't imagine sharing my living space with another person at this point in my life. I feel like I have more freedom when I'm alone. I feel like I've finally discovered there's a difference between loneliness in solitude.

    Just out of curiosity do you ever feel as if you don't exist when you're alone? I used to feel that way and hope I never do again.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago | pl

      **Kicks RoseIsabella in the fanny**

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago | pl

      Yeah, I do actually, and it's kinda scary!!

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      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago | pl

        Hi there OP, I'm so glad you responded. I'm sorry you're having this problem and I can definitely relate to this issue. I was diagnosed with a disorder of which one of the symptoms was sometimes feeling like I don't exist which is also known as dissociation.

        I suspect that having constant company is a coping mechanism to hold these disturbing dissociative feelings and or episodes at bay. The presence of another person or an animal validates your existence.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago | pl

          Any suggestions???

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          • RoseIsabella
            9 years ago | pl

            Hi there OP, sorry it took me so long to respond. When I got your response I
            felt like I didn't consciously know what I had done to feel less alone and decrease my dissociative symptoms. I had to kinda back track in my mind about what I had been through in the past year and a half.

            I had had a falling out with three female friends which had forced me to turn inward. I spent a lot of time in prayer and meditation and also worked with a sponsor in the 12 step program of Codependents Anonymous as well as seeing a therapist on a regular basis. I'm also an animal lover so my best friend and Siamese cat helps me to stay grounded.

            To make and maintain conscious contact with my Higher Power has helped me greatly. Although I'm a person of faith it's common in many twelve step programs to use the phrase Higher Power rather than to say God because it's a very personal thing and people have many different religious belief systems including agnostic and atheistic beliefs. Spending time in nature and with my feline companion helps me to feel connected to the universe and my concept of a Higher Power. Also it helps me to record my thoughts and emotions in a journal so that when I'm having a hard time I can release my negative feelings while respecting my personal boundaries and not over sharing or confiding in others that may not be trustworthy.

            I hope this helps! :-)

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago | pl

              Thanks :P I really appreciate it.

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    • shuggy-chan
      9 years ago | pl

      imma move in, live under your bed, steal your food, swat your feet and roll about in your laundry, mostly the dirty panties

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