30, fairly successful, yet longing for my youth

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16 Comments

As the title says I’m 30. At a relatively young age I’ve been successful in my field of studies - I carry my weight with new ideas, had a few promotions. I have a nice house.

But in all this I’ve found no new satisfaction. I find myself feeling more lost than ever. I don’t have anything inside me that sparks any interest. In fact, I’ve been longing to live through my youth again.

What is it about those early years we crave so much as an adult? Even with so many things going well I don’t feel fulfilled with life - not in the slightest. I’ve expressed these feelings to a friend and he suggested to date, but dating always made me feel trapped and unfocused.

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Based on 5 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Fugazi,again
    4 years ago

    Magic mushrooms could help, read up avout them

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  • howaminotmyself
    4 years ago

    Do you have meaningful connections with people? Are you a part if a community, village, tribe. Dating is not the answer, just one aspect of community building. I think you need to feel important in a group, not just to an employer. Seek like minded individuals and play games or sports or simple conversation. Then your age won't matter as you will know your place.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I have a good of friends from college and I occasionally hang out with coworkers. But I don’t feel connected to them or with anyone.

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  • barefoot_on_the_sand
    4 years ago

    Maybe you should try doing things that take you out of your comfort zone.
    Also, volunteering always was very fulfilling to me.

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  • bigbudchonga
    4 years ago

    I assume you're a girl from the dating a guy aspect?

    Let me first say that you are absolutely free to do what makes you happy in life, and if this is not for you the completely fair enough.

    Unfortunatley though, women are on a much shorter biological clock than men. Fertility will already be starting to decline at 30; by 40 you'll have only a 50% chance of conceiving naturally, and by 45 that chance will be 5%.

    It's interesting that you say you "don't have anything inside you that sparks any interest". Women's happiness ratings have been falling for half a century. It's the "paradox of declining female happiness".

    Your youth meant endless possibilities; now those possibilities are beginning to melt away as you walk down a certain road. In the West, I think women are told by current society to do everything men do, and to strive to follow the same type of lifestyle they have. Half a century of data stands contrary to the idea that women, by and large, are happier in that lifestyle.

    There are absolutely women who would be happier in high powered, high stress jobs with no family. However, one of the interesting facts is "more gender-equal countries produce comparatively fewer women in the STEM fields". When women truly have the choice they tend to avoid such lifestyles.

    I think it's possible you, and by the data, a lot of women, have been pushed into areas of their life. Perhaps your longing for youth is you yearning for a change which as life goes on for us is all the harder to achieve. The possibilities of youth vanish and we will never get them back.

    On the plus side though, if you are happy with your life, then all is fine because you could well be on the path you will find long term satisfaction for anyway. :)

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    • Nikclaire
      4 years ago

      I didn't see anything in the post that suggested it was a woman posting. Maybe they edited but there isn't a reference to sex.

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      • bigbudchonga
        4 years ago

        "I’ve expressed these feelings to a friend and he suggested to date", I'm assuming most people date the sex opposite to them. It could well be a guy, but I think that that's a resonable assumption to make.

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        • Nikclaire
          4 years ago

          The "he" in that sentence refers to the friend tho, not the O.P.

          I don't know either way. Perhaps they can shed light.

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          • bigbudchonga
            4 years ago

            Ye, it refers to the friend s/he talked about dating, that's why I assume it's a girl.

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            • charli.m
              4 years ago

              "Suggested to date" is not the same as "we should date". The friend suggested that OP find someone to date.

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