I don't mind if my partner is better than me in some aspects. Having a partner so much better than me at everything, that she makes more money, and is undisputedly smarter is kind of an ego killer...

Yeah it is weird asf

Seems you're seeking an escape from your current reality. Dreaming with your eyes wide open sucks if you're in a nightmare. It's good that you're experimenting with drastic changes to your lifestyle