When I had roommates, I always kept my own TP and toiletries in my bedroom in a nondescript and boring paper bag. Nobody uses my shit! Buy your own.

The sound a TV makes when it goes out of tune. I can only describe it as two robots rubbing uglies. It is an electronic wet sound like robot uglies extruding juices all over each other in orgasmi...

Yummy. It's immature. There is a thesaurus of beautiful words to describe delicious food. Tummy. It's a stomach. Scrummy. See the first word.

I used to be one of those party sluts except that I wasn't ugly. I stopped partying hard and started to read books and get early nights. The women who kept on partying had lots of kids and didn't...

I fart, sometimes a lot. I depends on what I have eaten. I'm glad I live alone.

Do you have a mental illness like depression or schizophrenia? I had a guy with schizophrenia live with me for a few months and when he left, he left a miasma of his odor in every part of the hous...

Use a Neti Pot every day, maybe twice a day. This will loosen up all the mucous before it makes it to the nostrils. When you have finished with the Neti Pot, blow like crazy into the sink and rin...