Maybe you missed the target.

Collect machetes and hang them in your cubicle. Stack a pile of bricks on your desk. This should be enough to make them think twice about disrespecting you.

I would fuck an obese pig of a woman as long as we hooked up in a different town where I didn't know anyone.

You need a place where have enough time before someone stops you. So like a library or an elevator. You don't want to do it in a bus stop cause you will be stopped right away.