Disgusting! and you will defiantly move on to fingering other people, mainly mild aged balding mens bum holes if you carry on, and you will make excuses for doing it.... down hill from here :)

It smells like Farts and funnily enough sounds like farts...

I have a feeling you will end up on a register and eventually in prison, plenty of willing maids there.

Wait for the right moment and call in your wife for a quick chat, stay calm and collected when she enters the room, then open up your hand and give her a sharp brisk slap across the face, do this 3...