I like my arsehole filled with cream.

I'm 43 and never had a real boyfriend. Just a nonstop parade of gloryholes

I got ball cancer and had them removed. #yolo #butthurt #doyouevenlift?

The a isn't capitalized.

I got fired from Burger King for jerking off behind the dumpster.

Director's commentary: I say these things to people to overshadow the fact that I harbour homosexual feelings towards my father.