Disturbed DayDreaming

Get Help while you can...

I don't know what to tell you but I do the same thing so don't feel alone on this one.

I do believe it;s normal to have violent thoughts, but 2-3 hours is an awful lot. I suppose you should seek out a psychiatric evaluation.

u need help for real

Get help now.

dude, i seriously hope i don't know you, your probly mentaly ill so go see a doctor or something!

Here's the thing: you are setting yourself up for this compulsive act. You are obviously obsessed about it, and you realize that it is not "normal" and is a problem in your life that takes up a considerable amount of your time. It is quite morbid, which probably makes you feel special. Sounds like you are a teenager, huh? Most people find things and latch on to them because it makes them feel different, out of the norm, and not part of the norm. Even if nobody knows you are different, even just you having your own personal secret about imagning the deaths of those close to you is probably a kind of defense mechanism for you to avoid social/mental/emotional situations that you have yet to build healthy coping skills for.

My advice is this: do not discredit yourself so much (this is an assumption but is all too common). You may rely on your fantasies to get you through the day which is not healthy and will hurt you in the long run. Find someone to talk to, but make it someone you can trust, someone who you can be close to who won't over react (ever thought of chatting online with a self-help group). Look into the signs of depression and see if you have any of them. Morbid thoughts are common amongst those who are depressed often.

Also, don't concentrate on not concentrating on your thoughts. You perpetuate it by telling yourself to not to think about it...it acts like a double negative and is self-defeating. Instead, if you truly want to change your habit here you need to set up a plan. Keep a little notepad with you and whenever you think about killing someone, write down how you were feeling at the time when you started thinking about it. If you want, keep a list of who you were thinking about killing to correspond with your feelings. If you were bored, write bored, of angry, write it down, or if you're not sure what you feel exactly, write it down. You may find a trend. Also, if there are any feelings of resentment toward these people it can be a sign of you venting your frustrations out on them, even if you cannot really accept that fact or are aware of it. You may want to concentrate your thoughts onto paper so you can learn to better understand yourself. If there are any free counseling programs in your area, you really should try it out. But you need to stress to your counselor that you ARE NOT feeling like you actually want to do these things but that it is stuck in your head. It will bring the counselor to a better understanding of why you have these thoughts. If you ever DO feel like killing someone, other than just fantasizing about it, please tell someone you can trust because they may be able to help you cope with those feelings one on one.

Good luck, and don't stress. Take some time to get to know yourself better, it's worth it ;)

When I get hung up on something morbid (can you tell by this point that I have had this trouble in the past?) I trigger my mind to act differently by finding "safe" or "key" words that set my mind on a completely different path of thinking...something that truly takes my attention away from my complusive thought. For some people simply saying the word "Cancel" a few times and then completely changing your mindset by changing activities at that certain moment is a cure. For me I will say something like "Picnic" and start to go over in my head every little detail of what would make the perfect picnic. This is all the way from making the food, to packing, to the trip with the people to the location, relaxation, enjoying the meal and whatnot. What it is doing is retraining your mind to switch gears from obsessive and compulsive thinking into a calm, relaxed and controlled state. It's like meditation and your own form of mind control. If your murderous scenario breaks into your picnic or whatever situation you use, don't worry! Just integrate it in naturally. Say you are sitting in the grass eating lucnch and you take the cheese knife and slice Cindy's throat with it. You realize this is not what you want, so revive her in your mind, offer her a napkin for the mess and continue on like normal. Just don't conentrate on what you are trying to not concentrate on. Get it? You will :) Good Luck my friend!

Moonie...thank you for the the advice.I'll keep it in mind.The thoughts has calmed down but they're still in my mind.I can't tell anyone because they'll think I'm crazy.You are right about me being a teen.Am i depressed,well
that's my secret.I realize I am emotionally disturbed.I have other problems too.Like sometimes,I laugh out of
nowhere.I just start laughing,and it's hard to stop.Or when I'm thinking about killing someone,I'll start laughing again.It's not that it's funny to me,It's just that it comes when I don't want to laugh.There is one person in particular
that I fantasize about killing.I'm not going to tell you the name,but let's just say that it's a close friend.Sorry,I can't
tell anyone.They wont understand.

Who the f*ck could have possibly thought that this was normal?! You, sir, are f*cked up in the head. Go get some f*cking help, otherwise you're going to end up killing someone. Then some large man named Francis is going to rape you in jail and sh*t on your face.

Hey,
I think I tend to have the same thoughts and day dreams as you...
Although they dont last as long, I often fantasize about killing and morbid things. Though, often I'm saving people from a hostage situation, or other alike scenarios.
Dont allow this Daydreaming to worry you, its NOT abnormal. Your mind is simply playing things out and mulling situations over. One thing that will virtually always help you (helps me alot) is to find someone who you know will be understanding (my mum, in my case) and TALK to them about it! Totally open up about the whole thing, belive me, this kind of self-therapy helps alot, because its not such a weight on only you, because this person who cares about your wellbeing will be there to help you out, and to talk to you about it. You should find things to keep your mind occupied too...

I think that the other persons suggestion, of accepting them, and changing their direction is a good idea too. Acceptance is a large leap to solving anything. It definatly isnt something bad. (hehe, I get worse ones lol xD)

One thing to bear in mind too:
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE OUT THERE, YOU ARE'NT ALONE IN YOUR WORRIES, FRIEND.

Good luck, I hope you do talk to someone, it will help.

i sue to have the same problem but i put all the thoughts in to my buisness go figure........